Perfect 4.0 Student Rejected From University Just For Being White Rapist
https://www.theonion.com/perfect-4-0-student-rejected-from-university-just-for-b-1850544909
https://www.theonion.com/perfect-4-0-student-rejected-from-university-just-for-b-1850544909
20 Comments
withnail@infosec.pub · 129 pts · 2y
That last line brought the whole thing together.
Vash63@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y
Agreed, was meh until then but the punchline was worth it.
reverendsteveii@lemm.ee · 16 pts · 2y
idk, "even though my father raped someone at the same college" definitely made contact
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Hey that's the best university. People learn all their twisted perspectives there.
GiantFlobbyCog@lemmynsfw.com · 82 pts · 2y
Like Brock Turner, convicted rapist?
VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf · 57 pts · 2y
Exactly like Brock Turner, rapist who got convicted to 3 months of wrist slapping.
klemptor@startrek.website · 49 pts · 2y
Rapist Allen Turner, aka rapist Brock Turner, who got a 6-month slap-on-the-wrist sentence for what his father called (and I quote) "twenty minutes of action"? That rapist Allen Turner (aka rapist Brock Turner)? The one who only served 3 months?!
Municipal0379@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 2y
Are we talking about convicted rapist Brock “Allen” Turner? The guy who was convicted for raping somebody and only got a 3 month sentence? That Brock “Allen” Turner?
Agrivar@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2y
HawlSera@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 2y
Seriously, I love how the mainstream media tried to have him remembered as a "Swimmer" and even posted his times, really paints a fucking picture next to all the dead black people who were "No Angels", because of that one time they smoked a cigarette.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y
The one who lives in Dayton Ohio and goes by Allen these days?
HawlSera@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 2y
To be fair, that's 3 whole months of punishment for "just a few minutes of action"
THAT IS ACTUALLY WHAT HIS FATHER SAID TO ATTEMPT TO APPEAL THE DECISION, I'M NOT FUCKING JOKING!
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 38 pts · 2y
Brock Allen Turner, convicted rapist who is now going by Allan Turner to hide the fact that he's a convicted rapist.
arymandias@sh.itjust.works · 65 pts · 2y
Imagine being the stock photo for this article.
Tikiporch@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 2y
Hopefully it's an AI photo.
LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
scary. But good point. He looks impossibly perfect.
ech@lemm.ee · 27 pts · 2y
I just need to express how perfect that title is. The way it changes meaning with almost every additional word is really impressive.
Drusas@kbin.social · 3 pts · 2y
The Onion has been doing perfect titles for decades. It's become harder for them in recent years, with reality coming to meet The Onion.
Igloojoe@lemm.ee · 21 pts · 2y
Shouldve had a rich parents. /s
reverendsteveii@lemm.ee · 14 pts · 2y
Could he swim?
cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world · -7 pts · 2y
Hey OP! Did you copy my username format? Did I give you permission?