“We believe in personalization,” said Tiffany Floyd, director of the daycare division, “and what’s more personalized than putting a price tag on every single childhood experience?”
The “Bare Minimum Bronze” package, priced at a very affordable $300 per week, includes a single bedtime story (same story every time), daily servings of gruel, and exactly one lukewarm hug on Fridays. For an additional $5 a month, parents can choose the story’s theme, although preferred language and character development are not guaranteed.
“We call it the ‘Tease of Literacy’ add-on,” explained Floyd.
Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com
3 Comments
cyborganism@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2y
This is a joke right? It's like the onion. Right???
tattletaletimes@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
it is! more info in the side bar. I would hope no one would be insane enough to send their kid to ticketmaster daycare 😂
garzaza77@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
i'd send my kid to an Apple factory daycare before i would a ticketmaster one