In announcing changes to the school lunches programme, David Seymour said kids would no longer be served ‘woke’ foods. To clear up any confusion, The Spinoff has compiled a guide to the wokeness levels of some common food items.
A definitive list of woke and non-woke foods
https://thespinoff.co.nz/kai/08-05-2024/a-definitive-list-of-woke-and-non-woke-foods
51 Comments
YungOnions@sh.itjust.works · 161 pts · 2y
This is never not appropriate with stories like this.
TheIvoryTower@lemmy.world · 48 pts · 2y
Just hoping that everyone understands that The Spinoff, like The Onion, is a satirical website
DarkThoughts@fedia.io · 32 pts · 2y
Except that it isn't.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Spinoff
https://thespinoff.co.nz/about-us
RainfallSonata@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y
Regardless, the article itself is satirical.
Venator@lemmy.nz · 5 pts · 2y
Only a little:
https://news.google.co.nz/search?q=David+Seymour+woke+lunch
bighatchester@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I was thinking the whole time going through the list that it was satire but then I looked up the website and it appears to be a serious website. They can't actually be serious though right ???
feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 2y
Jesus, they're really going to change the name to Aotearoa aren't they. Very silly.
Phegan@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
You're silly too. You're a silly sausage.
Venator@lemmy.nz · 15 pts · 2y
Nope, David Seymour really is that stupid.
https://news.google.co.nz/search?q=David+Seymour+woke+lunch
TheIvoryTower@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Seymour's idiotic comment is real, but the article you linked is satire playing off it.
A lot of the internationals here seem to be taking the article at face value
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y
Why is there WOKE coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 2y
I just can't with the dumb anymore. I'm surprised they don't call bananas woke, cause ya know phallic and that gay
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
How dudes have to eat a banana in public
Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 10 pts · 2y
I go the complete opposite direction and deepthroat it while cradling some kiwis in my other hand.
antidote101@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 2y
Curry is woke! Finally someone said it!
... it's because it's foreign and makes my mouth feel burning. I don't like it. I'm glad someone is finally standing up to this woke nonsense invading our culture!
...holy shit, I was pretending but are these guys just afraid of being colonized? It's like a projection of a fear of being on the other side of the historical fence, a subconscious history they can't acknowledge so it comes out as a fear of foriegn things they don't understand being in control of their "new world"
bitwaba@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Yeah fuck curry! I want real American food, like pizza, or tacos!
antidote101@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Yes! Or that stuff from 80s movies... That they had at the end of long business meetings: Chinese take out!
So much better than foriegn foods like German Hamburgers or French fries.
Nah: Real American food like freedom fries!
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 27 pts · 2y
Based on that list; here are two ChatGPT generated meal plans, one for a woke person and one for a not woke person (don't ask about the numbers, it probably can't count):
Woke Meal Plan:
Breakfast: Avocado toast with quinoa sprinkles (Approx. 350 calories)
Snack: Banana with almond butter (Approx. 200 calories)
Lunch: Quinoa salad with chickpeas, mixed greens, and avocado (Approx. 450 calories)
Snack: Hummus with carrot sticks (Approx. 150 calories)
Dinner: Tofu stir-fry with a side of non-dairy milk (Approx. 400 calories)
Total calories: Approximately 1550 calories
Not Woke Meal Plan:
Breakfast: Bacon and cheese omelette with a side of toast and cow's milk (Approx. 600 calories)
Snack: Chocolate chip muffin (Approx. 400 calories)
Lunch: Burger and fries with a milkshake (Approx. 1200 calories)
Snack: Cheese and crackers (Approx. 300 calories)
Dinner: Spaghetti-topped pizza with a side of garlic bread and a glass of cow's milk (Approx. 800 calories)
Total calories: Approximately 3300 calories
These are rough estimates and may vary depending on specific ingredients and portion sizes.
Fisk400@feddit.nu · 38 pts · 2y
So chatGPT is basically going with the interpretation that healthy and woke is the same thing when it comes to food. That feels about right.
nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 18 pts · 2y
its woke to not want a heart attack at 40
davidgro@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Pretty much so is the author of the article.
Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 2y
Why does it insist on accompanying dinner with a glass of milk?
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
That happened one time!
scutiger@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
You paint a whole house, and nobody calls you a painter. But you drink one glass of milk...
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
No Country for Old Men or A Clockwork Orange
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Okay, two times! I haven't seen No Country for Old Men yet. It's on my list, but it keeps getting bumped for more lighthearted stuff.
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y
You can get a milk marathon going, continue to Inglorious Basterds, V for Vendetta, Get Out, Alien, Leon (kinda) and The Boys series
kamiheku@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 2y
For getting a contrast b/w dairy and non-dairy
Guntrigger@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 2y
Well, sure. But Mr. Non-Woke apparently needs cow's milk in all three meals of the day anyway, so it didn't need to have milk with dinner specifically.
DaDragon@kbin.social · 1 pts · 2y
Because some people enjoy milk with their food? (I know it’s not the answer you’re going for)
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
My friend's family would serve milk with ice in it when we were kids.
DaDragon@kbin.social · 1 pts · 2y
Shudder. Not sure I could drink that, honestly
Venator@lemmy.nz · 3 pts · 2y
Banana = NOT WOKE
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 2y
Too confusing for computer smh
"appy slicey not woke"
Venator@lemmy.nz · 4 pts · 2y
Well done, much more woke 😂
Anticorp@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
That's surprisingly accurate! Lol
PDFuego@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2y
Surely that spaghetti-topped pizza isn't real, that's got to be from one of those ragebait tiktoks or something right? That looks and sounds awful.
Venator@lemmy.nz · 15 pts · 2y
That's a reference to a previous NZ prime ministers recipe: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/06/tinned-spaghetti-pizza-new-zealands-prime-minister-shocks-with-monstrous-recipe
😂
Knuschberkeks@feddit.de · 8 pts · 2y
It's actually really good. Not that one in Particular, put Pizza with Tomatoes sauce, spaghetti and cheese is actually great.
Pulptastic@midwest.social · 10 pts · 2y
I like my bread with more bread on it.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I mean, baguette pizza is also just bread on bread, and we all love that
Pulptastic@midwest.social · 4 pts · 2y
First I've heard of baguette pizza but now I must try it. I've had pizza on a baguette before but never baguette on pizza.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
You've never placed three baguettes on top of a pizza? We've all done that!
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
We made a Lo Mein pizza at one of the places I used to manage. I tried one piece. It wasn't bad, but there's no reason, outside of competitive swimming, to carb load that much
Nikku772@kbin.social · 20 pts · 2y
I think the funnest one is “ Spice, all = WOKE”, like damn…. All spices in the world?
scutiger@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Maybe they meant allspice, but I wouldn't be too surprised if black pepper was too hot for them.
Gluten6970@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y
white people joke
xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 2y
If anything, spices are NOT woke. Empires are built and people enslaved out of spice
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 7 pts · 2y
...the fuck is this woke-ass gender neutral bullshit?
It's called a CORN DOG, and they are glorious!
maculata@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 2y
Not woke: penis for boys.
Not woke: pussy for girls.
Not woke: anything to do with people whose skin is not Lily-white.