The billboard says "You can't hold hands with god whem you're masturbating" but that's wrong. The good Lord gave me two hands after all, in his infinite wisdom.
I used to live a lie. I was a leader of a Russian Prison Homogang and have once put a 12 gauge shotgun inside of myself on a dare. Brother Lonnie has saved my soul and shown me a new way to live.
Edit: Don’t click any links on the website, a virus warning popped up.
the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.
23 Comments
calabast@lemm.ee · 56 pts · 2y
The billboard says "You can't hold hands with god whem you're masturbating" but that's wrong. The good Lord gave me two hands after all, in his infinite wisdom.
Steve@startrek.website · 5 pts · 2y
Even with both hands you could make it work
Buffalox@lemmy.world · 40 pts · 2y
If you can't tell for sure if this is fake or not, it's because it's no more stupid than so many real ones.
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 2y
White handsome Jesus is always ironic Jesus. Like Buddy Christ.
Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca · 32 pts · 2y
Jackin it with Jesus™
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
You can’t trademark faith.
dumbass@leminal.space · 8 pts · 2y
Tell that to every organised religion.
itsralC@lemm.ee · 19 pts · 2y
That website is pure gold lmao, they absolutely knew
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y
Edit: Don’t click any links on the website, a virus warning popped up.
Steve@startrek.website · 3 pts · 2y
It would be cool if someone distributed a benign virus that just says “hey dummy you need antivirus!”
abbadon420@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 2y
Back in the day, that's what many virusses did. They were just made by some kid who wanted to fool around with code. Like cupholder.exe (it's a link to a blogpost)
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y
It’s satire/fake ofc. I swear I saw this posted on r/atheism back in 2009.
Wonder if Landover Baptist is still around…
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
2009??!? I’ve been masturbating wrong for 15 years?!?
andros_rex@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Unless you’re getting help from Jar Jar, you’re doing it wrong.
Hadriscus@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 2y
the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.
starchylemming@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
then its technically not masturbation anymore
which means the objective is met
lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 9 pts · 2y
So how does one get in touch with Jesus?
fl42v@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 2y
Some mental illness probably. Unless you're OK with them not responding, ofc
Son_of_dad@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
12 dudes camping and traveling. I'm sure Jesus and the disciples didn't even care, just dicks out whenever
firewood010@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 2y
Argh! Jesus! Oh no! Jesus!
toasty_mcboost@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
General Kenobi!
ExfilBravo@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Imagine a dutch rudder with Jesus man. Crazy.
beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 2y
Beat me, beat me / beat me sexy Jesus