cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16725859
Rule
Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you'll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:
- Avoid eye contact.
- Never reveal your full name.
- Accept nothing They offer you.
- Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
- To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
- Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
- Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
16 Comments
neo@lemy.lol · 50 pts · 2y
I'm trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.
You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:
C: "Hi, excuse me. I'm looking for tomatoes."
You: "We are out for today."
C: "Oh, that's unfortunate."
You: "" (still avoiding eye contact)
C: "Well, how about I come back tomorrow?"
You: "There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow."
C: "Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?"
You: "If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes."
C: "Are you alright?"
Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.
activ8r@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 2y
Uh-huh. What's wrong with that? Seems perfect.
RandomLegend@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 21 pts · 2y
Describes my typical retail experience, i wouldn't call that weird at all :D
Amir@lemmy.ml · 18 pts · 2y
This seems accurate
Tropper@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y
I don't know why, but I can only read this in a robot-like monotone way. Which makes it so much better.
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 42 pts · 2y
I mean, that might be true if you don't have any customer service skills. I did my time in food service, retail, and hospitality and I was good at my job because I broke pretty much every one of those rules.
edgemaster72@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 2y
No amount of soft skills will get people to read signs though
neo@lemy.lol · 24 pts · 2y
I haven't read your post, but you are obviously wrong!
Vagabondshad2@ttrpg.network · 7 pts · 2y
Facts
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 4 pts · 2y
Now that one is true
InquisitiveApathy@lemm.ee · 40 pts · 2y
RootBeerGuy@discuss.tchncs.de · 14 pts · 2y
How long ago and in which country? Because it seems particularly the US is seen as a bad place for that and especially recently.
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online · 3 pts · 2y
It's in the US, and it's been a minute, but things have always been bad regarding customers. You just gotta know how to handle the bad ones.
Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
I can see these rules being applied if you worked at a fast food min wage or a supermarket as a stocker in a bad store. I'm referring to places where Karens abuse fresh wide-eyed teenagers hoping to change the world. In my city right now, there's a bunch of places like that, like a Wendy's in the hood or a Supermarket that has to lock up mouthwash. Its depressing.
MonkderDritte@feddit.de · 16 pts · 2y
Is that a US thing? Not here atleast.
azrendelmare@ttrpg.network · 13 pts · 2y
It is a US thing, although exaggerated for comedy. At least when I was in retail, I did several of those things.
Reznik@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 2y
This is the reason why retail is dying.