The pawns have revolted and formed an anarchist commune. What should I do in this position? (I'm white)

292 points · 49 comments · view on lemmy.world

49 Comments

TempleSquare@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Ignore their reasonable critiques of your recent royal decisions and instead insist that you aren't backing down, even if the pawns are setting the chess board on fire and leaving the game. Start praising other kings to make yourself look good b by association.

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 28 pts · 3y

I accused them of blackmail, called them 'noise' and 'landed gentry' and most of them came back. Thanks for the suggestion!

ouigol@lemmy.world · 43 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Idk anything about chess strategy but I don’t see why saying your race is relevant to this

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 28 pts · 3y (1 reply)

"What should I do (I'm white)" Literally shut up, nobody asked which race you are, in my eyes it's irrelevant. The fact that race influences chess so much is a symptom of inherent systemic racism in the world.

lugal@lemmy.one · 2 pts · 3y

I totally agree even though I'm white myself

kuna@szmer.info · 25 pts · 3y (1 reply)
[ removed ]
name_NULL111653@pawb.social · 9 pts · 3y

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

(have we replaced r/unexpectedmontypython yet?)

Crow_of_Minerva@feddit.it · 21 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Google Paris in 1789

UprisingVoltage@feddit.it · 11 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Holy Révolution!

jxk@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 3y

Literal accent aigu

l3mming@lemmy.fmhy.ml · 19 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Hi Spez, my advice is to hold off for a while on that IPO.

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 29 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Ok, but I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money. Sorry, I meant I like money.

Izzent@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 3y

Saved your comment, pure gold.

zeerooth@lemmy.antemeridiem.xyz · 19 pts · 3y (3 replies)

google horde chess

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 23 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Holy shit that's actually a thing. Wait no uhh I mean uhh Holy chess variant

name_NULL111653@pawb.social · 4 pts · 3y

Actual zombie horde.

Izzent@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3y

It's so difficult

kronicmage@lemmy.ca · 17 pts · 3y

Pay some pawns money or other incentives to stay in place and not move forward. Then you can easily take care of the smaller portion of pawns that do get ahead. Plus you also sow discord among the pawns and divide them between sellouts and otherwise

Hagarashi8@sopuli.xyz · 14 pts · 3y

-Promote bishop to king

-Send him to pawns

-Say that everything is his fault

ZILtoid1991@kbin.social · 14 pts · 3y (3 replies)

Just hire some "counter-intelligence" chess-pieces to destroy their movement from the inside!

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 13 pts · 3y (2 replies)

I hired some guy but he seems to be organising the revolution into a unified communist state and industrialising instead?

name_NULL111653@pawb.social · 4 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Holy Marxism!

lugal@lemmy.one · 1 pts · 3y

Actual tankies

phthalocyanin@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 3y

Google no pasaran

fsniper@kbin.social · 13 pts · 3y (5 replies)

Import white pawns across from the other tables, arm them with shields and force move black pawns out on the north side.

itszednotzee@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 3y (4 replies)

Now the new slaves pawns are also revolting, what now?

phthalocyanin@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 3y (3 replies)

offer some pawns a position of priveledge in return for enforcing your hegemony by inflicting violence on other pawns.

Anwarias@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y (2 replies)

You mean, offer them a promotion?

phthalocyanin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y (1 reply)

promoted to cop/landlord

Synthuir@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 3y

I’ve heard of underpromoting, but never demoting!

vegasq@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 3y

Defederate from those lunatics.

nowitslikemagic@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 3y (2 replies)

I genuinely wonder if it's winnable for white.

lrabbt@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 3y (1 reply)

I'm pretty sure the only victory condition in chess is to have the opponent's king checked, so I don't think white can win, unless black surrenders

eatham@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 3y

If they have no king , you must kill all their pieces

odium@programming.dev · 11 pts · 3y

Tell them the pawns on row 8 are the cause of all their problems.

Jimmni@kbin.social · 10 pts · 3y

If you’re in the US, call the police.

woomy_boy@kbin.social · 5 pts · 3y

i love being white

0v0@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3y

Google Dunsany's chess

needthosepylons@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y

Google en MursDesFédérant

TheSpermWhale@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y (2 replies)

google 'Stolypin's necktie'

jeansburger@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y (1 reply)

That means nothing to me

TheSpermWhale@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y

holy hell

Hotzilla@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 3y

How does en passant work here?

nf3xn@mastodon.social · 4 pts · 3y (1 reply)

@itszednotzee castle left, create a corridor to back rank for one rook via the a file.

Kill them all.

logi@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3y

Then see if you can kill all the pawns before you're suddenly facing 6 queen's.

Ehllay@pawb.social · 4 pts · 3y

Teleport behind them

TheFermentalist@vlemmy.net · 3 pts · 3y

Concede