Trump Announces U.S. Will Relocate Panama Canal To American Soil

https://theonion.com/trump-announces-u-s-will-relocate-panama-canal-to-american-soil/

287 points · 17 comments · view on lemmy.world

17 Comments

Kyatto@leminal.space · 49 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Oh this one was close to getting me

moleverine@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y

Same. It's frightening that I can actually see that headline being true.

dmention7@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y

There are a lot of fake internet points to be had from creating a new "isittheonion" community! I would have 100% believed this one.

Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y

God dammit, this is the onion.

It's not even fine any longer... I mean, it is, but God dammit.

(to be fair, i'm drinking and glossed over "relocate" lol)

LGTM@discuss.tchncs.de · 25 pts · 1y

I didnt blink an eye

Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y

Also, Google will rename Canada "USA's 51th state" and Groenland "This belongs to me"

Tronn4@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (2 replies)

The crack of his ass is big enough

5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

BREAKING NEWS: TRUMP IS SOILING THE PANAMA CANAL TO THE BRIM

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 1y

That's how he marks his territory.

someguy3@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

"Economists have never thought of this!"

Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf · 1 pts · 1y

They hate this simple trick.

splintertank@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

The Onion is jacking me up. I thought this was real for a few secs.

You_are_dust@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y
[ removed ]
Adori@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Honestly, does the Onion help? I feel like it shows things could be worse so what bad thing is happening right not is not as bad.

e8d79@discuss.tchncs.de · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

So the promised wall to Mexico is now a moat instead.

Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de · 1 pts · 1y

i mean hey, that's way more feasible so good job

dontbelasagne@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Took me a minute to see the community

werefreeatlast@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

...finally, this morning after 250 years of continuous digging, mostly by illegally detained inmates, the Panama Canal is finally home! From the center of Limburg field in SanDiego, thru the Texan sun, past Louisiana and right thru Disney World Florida!

As Mexico and Panama reconstruction continues, some say it could have been easier to just dig here from the beginning. But who can forget the views from Yucatán 150 years ago? What about when the canal passed thru michoacan and you could just pull avocados growing on the sides of the canal... The north side actually. Am I right? Yes, it was difficult, but we did it!