How do I nail my farts to the wall ?

When I was a youngin my uncle said Fart Magazine needed a sample from him and showed me a zip lock baggy full of air with a little bit of soy sauce in it because "it was a juicy one."

Fart in a balloon and tie a knot, then you can nail it to a wall. Make sure to place the nail past the knot so the balloon doesn't pop.