I'm just starting with writing, and it feels a bit cluttered. So any pointers would be appreciated!!! Thank you
Graf vision here. Good rhythm, the structure is musical. Succinct and quite evocative. I like it.
I would only question if you meant deliberate? And if you would like to go with adrifts or adrift?
I like the imagery of a murmur coiled like a frail animal on the edge of something.
3 Comments
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 1y
dnqxt@literature.cafe · 2 pts · 1y
I'm just starting with writing, and it feels a bit cluttered. So any pointers would be appreciated!!! Thank you
Lacanoodle@literature.cafe · 2 pts · 1y
Graf vision here. Good rhythm, the structure is musical. Succinct and quite evocative. I like it.
I would only question if you meant deliberate? And if you would like to go with adrifts or adrift?
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y
lovewhenshe@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
I like the imagery of a murmur coiled like a frail animal on the edge of something.