Who said mitch doesn't snort high quality blow of 2 Mexican hookers asscheeks on the hotel next to taco bell every tuesday afternoon?

417 points · 30 comments · view on lemmy.world

30 Comments

DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 3y (10 replies)

Willie Nelson has been smoking pot for longer than most of us have been alive, including on top of the White House with Jimmy Carter's son, he's also outlived many many cigarette smokers and alcoholics.

Mitch McConnell is still going to outlive most of us, because tortoises have a long lifespan, we just need to flip him on his back or drop him into some deep water.

thorbot@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 3y (6 replies)

Mitch will never die, he will just shed his ghoulish outer layer and continue to exist in the shadow realm as a wraith

kautau@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Mitch is a mindflayer that’s been ousted by the elder brain. At this point he’s so weak it’s hard to keep his bowels intact while he keeps his disguise up

JuzoInui@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Keith Richards better watch his back cuz that strigoi is cumming for his liver, just you wait

kautau@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y

And then trump the solamith and the shapechanger desantis are coming to clean up the rest

DigitalTraveler42@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Mitch is a psychic vampire, this is how it would go.

PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 2 pts · 3y

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thorbot@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3y

Spoiler warning! I'm not there yet

RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 3y

I know a submarine company that might help with deep water bit

GreenMario@lemm.ee · 12 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Evil assholes full of hate live forever. Ask Kissinger and Murdoch.

ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 3y

The good die young because we're all so fUCKING STRESSED OUT ALL THE TIME

HurlingDurling@lemm.ee · 26 pts · 3y

Monsters don't age well, drugs or not

qooqie@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 3y (6 replies)
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TheDarkKnight@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 3y (4 replies)

Yeah but Mitch McConnell dismantled American Healthcare and actively fought to prevent 9/11 first responders and military veterans from receiving medical benefits as well. I think he’s the exception to the ‘don’t make fun of someone’s medical condition’ if there ever was one.

qooqie@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3y (3 replies)
[ removed ]
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 3y (2 replies)

I won't actively celebrate when mitch McConnell dies. But let's just say I will drink my morning caffeine with an extra skio in my step that day. Dude is an evil son of a bitch.

thorbot@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3y

We’ll make an exception for the living ghoul known as Mitch McConnell. For his crimes, may he be infested with a thousand cockroaches and have his nerves slowly eaten until all he can feel is utter and blinding pain

Disgusted_Tadpole@lemmy.ml · 23 pts · 3y

I saw the Stones last year in Hyde Park. Mick Jagger is a walking (well, running) ad for every drugs he’s done.

(Jokes aside, he works out a lot)

Maddie@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 3y (4 replies)

Counter: Do all the drugs!

AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 3y (1 reply)

You're right, where's Keith?

JuzoInui@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y

In the Lazurus pit, where else?

gamey@feddit.rocks · 6 pts · 3y

Before it's too late!

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 3y

Mercival@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 3y (2 replies)

I hate Mitch as much as the next person, but he fucking survived polio. He could be mumbling incoherently at this point and it would still be a huge personal and medical triumph. That's not to say he should still be in office, but mocking his neurological condition after having survived one of the worst nerve-infecting diseases is in extremely poor taste.

ThatWeirdGuy1001@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 3y (1 reply)

So is backing legislature that revokes human rights.

He can eat shit for all I care. Idgaf what he survived he's a dog shit human being.

Mercival@lemm.ee · 1 pts · 3y

Then mock him for that, kind of my point. There's a million things you could make fun of the piece of shit about. Going for low blows not only doesn't address why he's a terrible senator, but makes it look like our best argument against him is his cognitive decline.

jollyrogue@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 3y

What did Taco Bell do to catch a stray like that?

Son_of_dad@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3y (1 reply)

raises hand

"What year was the photo taken?"

VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf · 12 pts · 3y

1913 and 1730, respectively.

jopepa@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y

I think this has more to do with how they sleep at night more than drugs.