My wife had her thyroid removed yesterday. This after a battle with colon cancer that she's still suffering from the effects of chemo and most recently COVID.
In the recovery room, she asked for and received a few extra rounds of pain meds. She's just 60 and has had a bad run. She might have been admitted, but she hates staying overnight so she smiled through it so she could go home and sleep. If you know general anesthesia you know you get a sore throat. Plus the thyroid surgery profoundly irritates the vocal cords and makes a single cough a trip to hell. So the instructions include "talk as little as possible".
My kid is 15. Sure he's concerned about her. But instead of being quiet and letting her rest he:
- plays PC games extra late, shouting over his headset with his friends.
- at 11pm (after I'm asleep) he finally decides to check in and say goodnight to my wife.
- she's awake after getting up to pee and take her pain meds.
- he keeps her up for the next 3-4 hours talking about nothing in particular. TALKING When she's not supposed to. At all. Hours after surgery. Still woozy from the ordeal.
I couldn't take another day off work, so I find out about this after he's off to school on my way out the door. As she's coughing up some blood. So I text him to call me when he gets home.
I tell him he made terrible choices last night. That there we many other things that would have been better. There was no loud words, I'm primarily disappointed that he didn't seem to take into account (or care about) the seriousness of her condition. He is unmoved and says he needed to talk and had no other options.
My wife doesn't remember the "don't talk" instructions because she was still jacked up. I had to remind her that she needed prescriptions at all. So now I'm the bad guy for overreacting.
AITA?
5 Comments
Oka@sopuli.xyz · 17 pts · 327d
I think you were jumping the gun a bit if the son didnt know about not talking. It may also be that both forgot, or maybe she remembers, but chooses to ignore it.
Feels like a group conversation is the next step. Your feelings are valid, and your reaction comes from a good place. Perhaps theres a misunderstanding.
inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 327d
Lovingly, I think you are overreacting. I understand the frustration, but i think you might be babying her a bit. She was perfectly capable of saying she doesn't feel like talking at any point. I have mobility challenges, and while I love my wife for looking out for me, I would prefer to set my own limits instead of what her worry limits are.
I also feel like being upset at him for playing games loudly has little to do with the situation. All in all, I think you're coming down way too hard.
So delicately, YTA. Sorry.
MyDarkestTimeline01@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 310d
Neither of you are the asshole. You love your wife and want her to get better. Your son loves his mom and wants to talk to her. A compromise should be made.
IWW4@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 309d
NTA
JigglySackles@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 326d
Probably should have warned him beforehand but I don't think you are overreacting in correcting him. Talks can nearly always wait a little bit. Having throat surgery should be an immediate clue that the person shouldn't have extended conversations.
Also, as a side note, seems he needs some boundaries on acceptable behavior if he's going to be up late gaming. That's just untenable behavior.