The masked burglar broke into the closed Virginia liquor store early on Saturday and hit the bottom shelf, where the scotch and whisky were stored. The bandit was something of a nocturnal menace: bottles were smashed, a ceiling tile collapsed and alcohol pooled on the floor.
The suspect acted like an animal because, in fact, he’s a raccoon.
On Saturday morning, an employee at the Ashland, Virginia-area liquor store found the trash panda passed out on the bathroom floor at the end of his drunken escapade.
17 Comments
phed@lemmy.ml · 31 pts · 262d
I mean, let's be honest, this could be any of us, really. Give Bandit a break.
barnaclebutt@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 262d
Man, that raccoon may be living a better life than me. What a cool dude.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 262d
In a bizarre coincidence, the raccoon was named Pete Hegseth.
kmartburrito@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 262d
That's Ssecretary of War Pete Hegseth to you!
makeshiftreaper@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 262d
You ever see someone living your dream and think "damn, I wish I was a raccoon?"
Toto@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 262d
Same
Neon_Carnivore@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 262d
I guess my stepdad was reincarnated.
eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 10 pts · 262d
This is because of the raccoon loneliness epidemic
Fedizen@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 262d
Whom amongst us?
toomanypancakes@piefed.world · 8 pts · 262d
I just found my spirit animal
Zephorah@discuss.online · 7 pts · 262d
Clearly raccoons have spent far too much time mingling with humans.
GreenCrunch@piefed.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 262d
pathetic. in the Great State of Ohio, our raccoons do meth. NBC article
MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 262d
Leave it to raccoons to take Domestication to another level
inkzombie@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 262d
Over the Hedge 2
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 262d
This is what happens when your bars only stay open 'til midnight.
Scrizzle@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 262d
As a resident of Hanover County, I approve of this message and salute our bandit friend for doing god’s work.
kamenlady@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 262d
The headline over at Boing Boing