I killed a bunch of “living” Christmas trees, even following all the directions, only indoors for 9 days, misted regularly, heat registers closed in the room it’s in, etc. those things aren’t grown in pots, they’re violently dug up and 9/10ths of the roots hacked off, then immediately transferred into a completely different environment.
I got a Norfolk Island pine that was grown in a pot three Christmases ago, it’s still healthy. It’s an all-iday tree, since it’s there year round. It’s 5.5 feet tall and a bit too floppy for real ornaments and lights. I made tiny ornaments and hang some from the ceiling above it to just be “around” it.
Also it doesn’t smell like pine at all, as it is not a true pine. But it’s happy in the house!
11 Comments
robocall@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 271d
I imagine they would select a fresh human corpse and throw it away once it starts decomposing
Zorque@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 271d
Who puts up a tree where all the needles have already fallen off?
It'd be more like putting up a brain dead person with an IV to keep them from decomposing.
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 271d
Ugh living potted ones never work out. Better to just use one that's freshly dead.
Or embalmed if you want to be a little tacky.
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
I killed a bunch of “living” Christmas trees, even following all the directions, only indoors for 9 days, misted regularly, heat registers closed in the room it’s in, etc. those things aren’t grown in pots, they’re violently dug up and 9/10ths of the roots hacked off, then immediately transferred into a completely different environment.
I got a Norfolk Island pine that was grown in a pot three Christmases ago, it’s still healthy. It’s an all-iday tree, since it’s there year round. It’s 5.5 feet tall and a bit too floppy for real ornaments and lights. I made tiny ornaments and hang some from the ceiling above it to just be “around” it.
Also it doesn’t smell like pine at all, as it is not a true pine. But it’s happy in the house!
kriz@slrpnk.net · 12 pts · 271d
I like it. But the gifts should be wrapped in human flesh for maximum horror.
squirrel@piefed.kobel.fyi · 5 pts · 271d
Maybe they are
calliope@retrolemmy.com · 3 pts · 271d
Rob Sheridan (kinda) has you covered! But it’s gifts and people and not the tree.
https://laughingsquid.com/presents-opening-children-by-rob-sheridan/
He was the art director of Nine Inch Nails and I remembered it from then (2007). He’s one of my favorite visual artists!
(Unrelated, but his glitch art is worth seeing too! Website)
jokerwanted@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 271d
Why is everyone naked except the dad?!?
ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 271d
Need to water their meat tree. It may be made of mostly water but that delicate hydrostasis needs to be maintained by watering. Avoid overwatering.
SoyaSuki@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 271d
All the flesh has already fallen off 🙃 They need a new one
stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 271d
Trees shouldn't smoke it will give them forest fires.