‘I wondered if I would be a coward or not’: five Ukrainian men on how war has changed them

“When I came back, I found I had a wife and a two-and-a-half-year-old child. That was hard. Before the invasion we were closer; it was very romantic. Now we are a lot colder and my daughter is struggling to see where I fit into their lives. Sometimes she calls me Daddy but sometimes she calls me Valentyn.

“I’m suffering with feelings of aggression. I can’t find anyone I trust to get help, so to cope I stay away from alcohol, I meditate and write my poetry.”

“My wife and I are closer since the invasion, especially since my injury. Young men have it harder – young women think the war is too much, too long. They are so fed up and are arguing with their men, but really there is no choice here.

“There are huge misunderstandings between Ukrainian men and women, lots of difficulties in relationships. The invasion has turned ordinary men into warriors, and that seeps into and divides the family.

“As soldiers, men function differently,” he says. “You are with this tight group and you know each other completely because you have to open up fast. Everything in war happens so quickly.”

“Ukrainians don’t give up, but what does suffer is the relationship between the sexes. A lot of couples are doing very worse now; lots of women left with the children. The days off – you can be 100 or 200 days on the frontline, about 15 days a year leave to see your family.

“It is very sad, but war is very sad. War doesn’t knock on your door, it just barges in.”

so fucking relatable whole article

when talk to people these kind of things hard for them to understand