Bread mattress: so my sleepy ass can partially eat it, as I'm in the lengthy process of waking up (possibly improving efficiency)

I feel like bread's limited shelf life, and all the nasties that accumulate in a normal mattress from normal use, would make this idea fucking disgusting. Just leave a loaf of bread on your nightstand like a normal person.

They would find my corpse in the hollowed out crust of my breadbed after i choked to death in my sleep.

American bread ain't nothing but edible sponge. In old Europe you'd have seriously bad time sleeping on bread.

Walking up there next morning lying on a giant brick perfectly molded to your sleeping position.

Ham blankets and a peanut butter pillow.

And then you take a bath in wine or beer, while you consume it.

Ah! The dream. 😅

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