As I've become more self aware, I've started to be open and honest about this. I've exited conversations with something like "I'll be back in a bit. My social battery just emptied and I need a few minutes."
It's healthier than taking up smoking to just get away from the noise and go outside. But I'm convinced that's half of the reason people smoke.
Sometimes, when I need space and people are talking to me, I push them away by making them uncomfortable. Sex and death are two fallback topics that make people not want to be around me anymore. I don't even realise I'm doing it till after the fact because I disguise it (to myself at least) as humour.
But, it has a lasting impact I recover, I yearn to be around people again, but I'm weird so why would they want to be around me? I don't blame them, it's my mechanism that did this, I just don't know how to recognise it to interrupt it with something healthy.
Except when someone follows me down the rabbit hole, and makes filthy/dark jokes back, I'm comfortable again. Then we feed each other and no-one wants to be around either of us.
4 Comments
BlueEther@no.lastname.nz · 8 pts · 211d
Sometimes I actually look at people when they talk
atto mefloquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 211d
(I will only realise what made me upset two weeks later)
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 211d
As I've become more self aware, I've started to be open and honest about this. I've exited conversations with something like "I'll be back in a bit. My social battery just emptied and I need a few minutes."
It's healthier than taking up smoking to just get away from the noise and go outside. But I'm convinced that's half of the reason people smoke.
Fedegenerate@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 211d
Sometimes, when I need space and people are talking to me, I push them away by making them uncomfortable. Sex and death are two fallback topics that make people not want to be around me anymore. I don't even realise I'm doing it till after the fact because I disguise it (to myself at least) as humour.
But, it has a lasting impact I recover, I yearn to be around people again, but I'm weird so why would they want to be around me? I don't blame them, it's my mechanism that did this, I just don't know how to recognise it to interrupt it with something healthy.
Except when someone follows me down the rabbit hole, and makes filthy/dark jokes back, I'm comfortable again. Then we feed each other and no-one wants to be around either of us.
kirakira666@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 211d