Point a gun at armed guards, and you're going to have a bad day. Assuming, that is, that what they said is what actually happened. They may have lied and this is not what happened at all, and we'll never know. Cops have been known to do that, shocking, I know.
BREAKING NEWS:
This just in. The man who was shot by armed guards was actually not a man, or woman. But a 7 year old girl. Also the little girl wasn't shot, but strangled...about 2 decades ago, by someone with tiny, tiny hands. Local police are wondering why there was orange make up all over the remains.
When asked for a comment a spokesman said, "the president is clueless...about everything"
Now, obviously, I'm not mentioning sniper rifles for any other reason than to point out that they are rifles for sniping, and they are not to peel bananas with.
Or to stir your coffee with. They are just for shooting paper targets(šš) from afar. DO NOT STIR ANY BEVERAGES WITH A SNIPER RIFLES.
A shotgun and a fuel canister. What was the plan here exactly? Shoot all of the Secret Service, and burn the evidence? Start a fire and shoot at the ones fleeing the building?
Yes our collective plan of doing nothing and letting a child rapist and murder start countless wars and do whatever Netanyahu wants is working out much better
You guys could just, you know, remove him from office. Introduce a modern democratic system while you're at it. Might have to convince some of your countrymen it's a good idea.
What's more insane is imagine if he ran in with a gopro - and captured something. Would anythimg happen? Would Trump dismiss it all away with some rant about aliens? Would people care enough or buy into the distraction? Who knows. Oh well.
39 Comments
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 127 pts · 173d
Point a gun at armed guards, and you're going to have a bad day. Assuming, that is, that what they said is what actually happened. They may have lied and this is not what happened at all, and we'll never know. Cops have been known to do that, shocking, I know.
MehBlah@lemmy.world · 77 pts · 173d
I trust nothing anyone says in that bloated orange liars orbit.
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 40 pts · 173d
BREAKING NEWS:
This just in. The man who was shot by armed guards was actually not a man, or woman. But a 7 year old girl. Also the little girl wasn't shot, but strangled...about 2 decades ago, by someone with tiny, tiny hands. Local police are wondering why there was orange make up all over the remains.
When asked for a comment a spokesman said, "the president is clueless...about everything"
robocall@lemmy.world · 61 pts · 173d
One of you will be a hero, one day. Keep trying.
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 27 pts · 173d
Sniper rifles...
Now, obviously, I'm not mentioning sniper rifles for any other reason than to point out that they are rifles for sniping, and they are not to peel bananas with.
Or to stir your coffee with. They are just for shooting paper targets(šš) from afar. DO NOT STIR ANY BEVERAGES WITH A SNIPER RIFLES.
FatVegan@leminal.space · 12 pts · 173d
Wait what? I thought they were to kill people like known nazi Donald Trump.
billbasher@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d
Thatās what the bananas are for
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 173d
The potassium in the banana would immediately combust once it mixes with all those hamberders.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 172d
I'm afraid the white house is aware of bananas
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 173d
Wilco@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 173d
Of at first you dont succeed ... someone else will eventually try again.
robocall@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d
The world needs more Luigis
BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world · 48 pts · 173d
Clearly a tourist.
teslasaur@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 173d
Clearly. Couldn't they tell it was a toy gun?
BetaBlake@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 173d
He was invited in
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 36 pts · 173d
I canāt understand why millions havenāt stormed this shithole yet
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 173d
Actually...yeah...they cant shoot a million people storming it...
Noite_Etion@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 173d
And if we all Naruto run towards the compound we will move faster and be harder to hit.
teslasaur@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d
You first.
Hapankaali@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 173d
A shotgun and a fuel canister. What was the plan here exactly? Shoot all of the Secret Service, and burn the evidence? Start a fire and shoot at the ones fleeing the building?
blattrules@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 173d
This guy was clearly mentally unwell if thatās what he thought was going to do the job.
IronBird@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 173d
it's honestly surprises me how little thought goes into the average attempt at violence
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 173d
Is it surprising though? Those that put more thought into it choose not do to the violence.
partofthevoice@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 173d
Those who put the most thought into it get an episode on some history channel show, though. (Looking at you, Cooper)
ameancow@lemmy.world · 27 pts · 173d
Formfiller@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d
Yes our collective plan of doing nothing and letting a child rapist and murder start countless wars and do whatever Netanyahu wants is working out much better
Hapankaali@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d
You guys could just, you know, remove him from office. Introduce a modern democratic system while you're at it. Might have to convince some of your countrymen it's a good idea.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 4 pts · 173d
Oh geez. That means planning beyond the next quarter. Maybe even a five year plan.
Maeve@kbin.earth · 2 pts · 173d
Shoot the gas can, burn it to the ground, he forgot the salt though.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 172d
Remember pizzagate? Find the paedo den and burn it down.
lennybird@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 173d
Let's see if maga defends him the same way they defended Ashli Babbitt.
robocall@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 173d
Paid agitator
BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 173d
I thought it was LEGAL to Carry Guns in America?
robocall@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 173d
Yeah what's the crime?
Nastybutler@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 173d
Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 173d
GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!
Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 173d
You there!
OriginEnergySux@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 173d
What's more insane is imagine if he ran in with a gopro - and captured something. Would anythimg happen? Would Trump dismiss it all away with some rant about aliens? Would people care enough or buy into the distraction? Who knows. Oh well.
RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 173d
Only worthwhile if it was livestreamed. Otherwise the cam would never have existed.
Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 173d
The DOW! The DOW IS UP FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!