US troops were told war on Iran was ‘all part of God’s divine plan’, watchdog alleges

Could we get Jesus on CNN to tell us the plan? Because no one else seems to have one.

If the plan is Armageddon, why not just launch all the nukes instead of spending all that money on intercontinental B-2 raids?

Is bombing cafes and elementary schools part of Jesus’ plan? Did he finally get over all that faggy do unto others bullshit?

Was Jesus flying those three F15s that got shot down by friendly AA?

Does Gods Divine Plan include the whole weird part where Trump rapes everything under age 18 that moves?

Isn’t it kind of weird that the Secretary of Defense forms his theater-wide strategic disposition by personally communing with Jesus?

IS THAT WEIRD? THAT SEEMS KIND OF SUPER FUCKING WEIRD TO ME

Alternative headline: People who join a death cult surprised to learn it is a death cult

I'm not religious or at this point a pacifist, but thou shall not kill is literally a commandment

American politicians swear on a fairy tales book,what would you expect

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits. In thy mercy.

And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...