Story of my life NSFW

213 points · 32 comments · view on lemmy.world

32 Comments

fonix232@fedia.io · 59 pts · 127d

Have a wank, have a Kit Kat. Rinse, repeat.

I can help with the latter, got 12 tonnes of the stuff as a deal recently

Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world · 45 pts · 127d (1 reply)
[ removed ]
M137@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 127d

I'm a chef man
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub Yo da dub dub

huquad@lemmy.ml · 23 pts · 127d (2 replies)

Have you considered joining the military industrial complex?

daggermoon@piefed.world · 6 pts · 127d (1 reply)

Yes, I decided I'd rather do just about anything else.

huquad@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 127d

Well then there's no pleasing you

IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 127d

engage in manual labor

Pistcow@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 127d (6 replies)

found the 23 year old with no bitches.

robotica@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 127d (2 replies)

They're 26 now, if their username is their birth year

Whitebrow@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 127d

Still no bitches tho.

Pistcow@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 127d

sad...

Obnomus@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 127d (2 replies)

Removed what?

DarkSirrush@piefed.ca · 7 pts · 127d (1 reply)

Get a better instance, .ml censors swears.

Pistcow@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 126d

Wait, some instances fucking do that? Wow.

dawcas@scribe.disroot.org · 8 pts · 126d

Meet me at the Eiffel tower. I'll be the one carrying 5 litres of lube.

Decoy321@lemmy.world MOD · 7 pts · 126d (3 replies)

Mark this nsfw plz, due to the pfp in the image

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 126d (2 replies)
[ removed ]
Iloveyurianime@ani.social · 4 pts · 126d

Opened this post in public and the entire damn city became white because the post wasnt mark nsfw

Decoy321@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 126d

Happy to be of service. Forgive me if I don't shake hands.

But for real, I know this seems silly, but I gotta enforce rules fairly and uniformly, otherwise people get ridiculous with it. Again.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 127d (1 reply)

Same here. Also having a catheter for 4 weeks after surgery on my urethra so also can't get out of the house and can't have sex or jerk off. The longer I have this situation, the more woodies I get at night, which hurt and wake me up. I'm 2 weeks in, 2 more weeks to go. I'm boooooored!

black_flag@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 126d

That's fucking rough. Can't they like give you anti-horny pills or something? Shit

seggturkasz@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 126d

Do you have hands and a stable internet connection?

You could start gardening, there are a lot of tutorials online. And its so nice to fuck among flowers.

SuperPengato@scribe.disroot.org · 5 pts · 127d

Shake it shake it shake it shake it shake it feel good

Obnomus@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 127d (2 replies)

Suffer in silence.

an0nym0us_dr0ne@europe.pub · 1 pts · 126d (1 reply)

Like the rest of us is.

Obnomus@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 126d

True.

Pacattack57@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 126d (1 reply)

I want to believe that pfp is a woman but I have a good feeling it’s a bussy

Aeri@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 123d

Were ye brave enough twould make nae a difference.

Drusas@fedia.io · 3 pts · 127d

Write fanfiction.

Ilixtze@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 127d

Go out for a 10 km run

WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 127d

I tend to suggest Kobold AI instead of healthy human interaction.

daggermoon@piefed.world · 1 pts · 127d

cry?

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 125d

Have you ever considered starring in a music video? Some of those are filled with bored and horny looking women. And they often have a swimming pool, so you can have a quick dip before you head home.

If you want to do anything else, you'll probably need to learn some skills. Or use some, if you already have them.

NaibofTabr@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 127d