pro tip: when someone asks "do you understand", instead of simply confirming you do, it helps a lot to give a short summary of what they were just talking about - it helps them to feel listened to so they'll feel more comfortable continuing, or if there's a detail you missed that's critical or if you got something wrong, you can fix it immediately rather than after it causes confusion!
for bonus points, also validate the feelings/emotions of your interlocutor. If what they experienced sounds sad, or frustrating, or if it makes you happy, let them know!
pro tip: when someone asks “do you understand”, instead of simply confirming you do, it helps a lot to give a short summary of what they were just talking about
YMMV. I've had some really stupid fights come out of "So then A+B+C = X?" -> "No, it's more complicated than that, you're not listening."
Yeaaah, that sounds like a person who has other problems and who's gonna have to find someone else who cares real quick, with that attitude.
My wife has two doctorate in medecine and not once in the many years she has used me to do her after work debriefings has she ever uttered something like that.
“No, it’s more complicated than that, you’re not listening.”
"Oh, I'm sorry if I misunderstood, can you explain what I missed?" should avoid arguments. Try not to get personally offended if someone says "you're not listening" or something: just demonstrate that you actually are.
7 Comments
bearboiblake@pawb.social · 22 pts · 129d
pro tip: when someone asks "do you understand", instead of simply confirming you do, it helps a lot to give a short summary of what they were just talking about - it helps them to feel listened to so they'll feel more comfortable continuing, or if there's a detail you missed that's critical or if you got something wrong, you can fix it immediately rather than after it causes confusion!
for bonus points, also validate the feelings/emotions of your interlocutor. If what they experienced sounds sad, or frustrating, or if it makes you happy, let them know!
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 129d
YMMV. I've had some really stupid fights come out of "So then A+B+C = X?" -> "No, it's more complicated than that, you're not listening."
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 129d
Yeaaah, that sounds like a person who has other problems and who's gonna have to find someone else who cares real quick, with that attitude.
My wife has two doctorate in medecine and not once in the many years she has used me to do her after work debriefings has she ever uttered something like that.
victorz@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 120d
Never has a missing hyphen had more impact.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 129d
My wife's a lawyer and I hear it more often than I can count.
bearboiblake@pawb.social · 2 pts · 129d
"Oh, I'm sorry if I misunderstood, can you explain what I missed?" should avoid arguments. Try not to get personally offended if someone says "you're not listening" or something: just demonstrate that you actually are.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 129d
Again, YMMV.