The Daily Check-in for Saturday June 27th - Just For Today, We are NOT Drinking!

ooo boy.

Do you think alcohol negatively effects your life?

From my husband it did. Alcohol was his largest cope. I met him during a brief period of sobriety, and immediately fell for him, time passes, we live together, life is good. Over the course of the pandemic, he picked the bottle back up. Chaos ensued. He changed. This was not him.

Christmas eve 2021, Was the worst by far, and I had enough. In the wee hours of the morning, I heard the last crack of a can, and nothing after. I was hiding in my own home. I took my small child and ran to a family memebers house. I called my (now) husbands father christmas morning from my sisters house, told him he needed to check on his son, I wasnt there to.

At the time we had a camera towards the front door. My husband told me, when he saw his father entering the house, the look on his face broke him. His father (and me too tbh) had no idea if he was dead or not. He was alive, but.. in bad shape.

This man woke up, still drunk, told my cat I was a bad person (I couldnt take my cat the way we left), and thats when I deleted the app for it. Once he sobered, he started apologizing, but I was gone. His little family we built, gone. His house a mess with holes in the wall, probably sore because he fell down, a lot, the night before. Christmas day, and he was in the deepest pit.

He did everything right for that moment on. The previous leading up to this moment was a long battle of being sober for two weeks, not sober for a month, and back and forth all year, but now, he hunkered down. I knew it would be easier with us not there. I was pretty pissed too tbh. I wasnt nice to him. Drunks dont remember all the things they do while black out. His apologies meant nothing to me because he didnt know what he actually had done. I spent two months reminding him the horror he inflicted on me while black out drunk. Until he knew what it was he was apologizing for. I made this man cry. He did not give up his sobreity mission.

The thing with alcohol, is it is just that, a coping tool. Reality was too much for my husband too. But he had to figure out a way to handle it if he wanted his family back, He had to figure out himself, why he started drinking in the first place so many years ago, even in his teens. He was severly suicidal, but he wanted to live. He wanted help.

After examining himself with the help of various proffesionals, it was a combo of trauma from childhood, undiagnosed anxiety disorder, and the alcohol itself, wich were the culprits. He reluctanly started therapy again, Gladly joined virtual SMART meetings. He told me he liked going to.. joining online I guess is better, the virtual meeting in the UK. He said he found it interesting that folks across the pond were going through the same things he was. He joined an in person mens group. He did all of this constantly for nearly a year. The most impactful for him, he told me, was hearing other peoples stories, it gave him perspective. His life wasnt so bad, he needed to learn to cope with himself so he could be okay day to day.

He hated himself most. The bottle gave him relief from the dread. But it crashed everything good, down around him. He didnt want to hate himself, nor hurt his father, or me and my son. He did the work to figure it out. I got back together with him, after supporting him at a distance, in time for christmas 2022. My sober husband, is my best friend. We have a not stess free, but happy home together.

He still sees his psychitrist, doesnt really do meetings anymore, but has been sober since Christmas day 2021. His sobriety gave us our family, and how much love ia in our home! Seriously, I cry sometimes just for that fact. The joy is overwhelming sometimes.

Had he not gotten sober, he very well could be dead by now. Or in jail, or living on the street. Instead, he chose himself, he chose his family, he chose life. As shitty as it can be, its even shittier on alcohol.

This is why I dont drink. While it was easy for me to put it down for him, its not so easy for others, and I will always support those who choose life, love, and their own wellbeing for hope of better days.

He still hates himself most, and honestly, relateable, but he lives on.

He's renewed his passion and hobby for sprots card collections. You should see his "office" its gorgeous. Instead of pissing away money, he has rebuilt his card collection. He goes to shows, and shops, nearly every weekend, he bonds over it with our son. They spend hours at it. Whenever he is stressed, Ill just find him in his card room, its his happy place. No matter how bad he feels in a moment, he can see what hes built, a family, a dope af card room, and he holds hope. We cant control outside but we can learn to cope with the internal. Much better than being alone with a bottle.

IWNDWYT

I don't think it needs explaining why some people want to stop drinking. But still: Not everyone is a doom-and-gloomer, and they actually want to live a good life during their days they have left in this life, and being addicted to alcohol is not conducive to that.

I understand where you are coming from, hell I was there for a long time.

But why come to this community?

To argue with people trying to better themselves?

There are a million other posts to engage with, and this post has nothing to do with you.

Why not drink? Because my habit got to a point where I was throwing up blood. I don't check in very often anymore, but knowing this community is here if I need them helps me.

Enjoy your drinks if it works for you as it did not for me.

I will not drink with you today, 1638 days strong.

When I consume alcohol I completely lose control of the consum and of my life. I'm faring far, far better when I'm navigating the currencies of this reality without haze and breakdowns, and the people I love have a compassionate and responsible companion.

You may drink as you like, no problem. For those who can't drink (or use other substances) that way this community supports them in their constant improvements.

No one is too weak. Everyone needs support systems. We help eachother. Youre not too weak, I promise.