I had to pull my children out of £38,000-a-year private school because of the soaring cost of living… It's been a nightmare finding a good state school

Private schools and American Candy shops

So many places to launder the profits of crime

Definitely don't skimp on photoshoots with random child models that aren't your kids though, that's a non-negotiable.

That's some leopardsatemyface material right there