[Concluded] I (24f) want to break up with my magician boyfriend (27m) due to his inappropriate magic trick [Reddit]

I (24f) want to break up with my magician boyfriend (27m) due to his inappropriate magic trick

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/throwRA531800807734 in r/relationship_advice

trigger warnings: >!Sexual assault, domestic violence, gaslighting, boundary violations!<

mood spoilers: ::: spoiler spoiler Bizarre, happy ending :::

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Original Post: June 30, 2025

I (24f) want to break up with my magician boyfriend (27m) due to his inappropriate magic trick

My boyfriend (27m) and I (24f) have been together for 1 year and 3 months. Our relationship has been very loving but has started to get bumpy ever since we moved in together for our 1 year anniversary.

A little backstory:

I'm in college right now pursuing my master's degree in Archaeology while also working as a library clerk to earn money. Whereas my boyfriend works as a magician for parties and events. Despite our different career paths, I've never had a problem with his career choice because it makes him happy. He has always found a way to make every day magical which has been sweet. About 9ish months into our relationship I had the opportunity to go on a 2 month archeological excavation in another country for school. Despite us becoming long distance, he had no problem with me going and he was very happy for me. He would send me gifts, letters, and he even sent things for my colleagues in order to brighten up their days. While we were doing long distance we made plans to move into an apartment when I got back due to how much we missed each other. And a few days after I returned we moved in together which has been awful so far.

Before living together we would see each other a few times a week due to my busy schedule but now that we live together we see each other all the time. And he has started to do magic ALL THE TIME. He will make my keys "disappear" as I'm trying to go to work or school, he tries to practice his card tricks on me while I'm doing homework, he makes the cleaning rag "vanish" when I ask him to clean, and he has recently done something that makes me want to end the relationship. I have never been in this serious of a relationship before so I don't want to throw our loving relationship away just because of these bad few months.

Last month we were getting steamy and he went down on me which isn't unusual. While he was going down on me he was saying some dirty talk here and there. I was lost in the moment for obvious reasons but I snapped out of it when he said, "Oh, how did that get in there?" And I watched him pull a coin from my crotch. He found the coin moment hilarious but it just took me out of the moment and instantly made me annoyed so we stopped. Later I told him that him doing the magic in the bedroom made me literally dry up so I asked him to keep that kind of magic out of the bedroom. He explained to me that he was trying to make me laugh/have fun and he didnt apologize for it. I talked with some of my friends about it and they thought it was funny so I figured that I was overreacting and needed to lighten up a bit. But he didnt do any magic tricks in the bedroom for the next few weeks.

However, four days ago we were having sex and he suddenly started to yell "OW!" So I quickly got off of him and was asking what was wrong. He tells me, "I think there's something in you. Let me check." I laid on the bed like I was at the goddamn gyno because I trusted that if something was wrong then he would find it. After like two minutes he says, "Oh, here it is." And I watched as he was pulling up a long ribbon thing that kept going and going and going. It took a second for me to realize that it was one of his magic tools that he had purposely put in me while he was "checking to see what he felt." He found it hilarious and couldn't stop laughing while he was pulling the string more and more. I ripped the thing out while doing itand I yelled at him for doing another magic trick like that even though i told him not to. He told me that he was just adding more fun to our sex life and that he wanted to see what the magic trick would look like if it was coming out from a crotch. (The original magic trick involves putting the coil thing in your own mouth and pulling out the plastic string for a while.) I was pissed off so I made him go stay at his parents house for past few days. This morning, I talked with him some more but he still thinks that its not a big deal.

I get that he's a magician and that he loves magic but I'm still upset about him breaking that boundary I had set. I'm fine with his magic tricks 85% of the time but sex is where I draw the line. I am demisexual so I need to have a strong, trusting, and close relationship with someone before I can even think about having sex with them. So him breaking my boundary has really hurt me and I've lost my trust in him. However, everyone I have talked to about the situation says that what he did was hilarious. And I have been told by multiple people that I'm overreacting which is why I decided to go to reddit.

We have built a strong relationship and I really saw myself marrying him one day. I fully trusted him and now I dont know if I ever can again. Should we break up? Or can we fix this and stay together? I'm lost so I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.

TOP COMMENTS OOP did not answer to any of the comments on the original post, and many Redditors were accusing her of being fake

u/ezagreb:

The magic is gone; it's time for you to disappear.

u/Different-Version-58:

I hope this is fake....but in case this is real, please say this out loud to yourself and see how it feels as it hits your ear: Your partner, after you already told him that you did not consent to magic tricks in the bedroom, inserted a magicians' prop into your vajayjay and laughed. A magicians prop that likely was not designed to and may not even be safe/sterile to insert into human genitalia. IN ADDITION, you told him how it made you feel and he continues to find it hilarious. He knows he made you uncomfortable and upset by inserting a MAGICIANS PROP into your vajajay, and STILL finds it funny. Would he be laughing if you put it up is butt hole during sex, and said Ta Dah!? He sexually violated you, and finds it hilarious. Nothing that you have said makes him thinks it's anything other than funny haha. He thinks it's ok to violate your physical and sexual boundaries for a joke.

 

First Update: July 03, 2025 (3 DAYS LATER)

UPDATE: I (24f) want to break up with my magician boyfriend (27m) due to his inappropriate magic trick

First off no, this story isn't AI or fake. It's sadly true but I can understand why people would think that its AI due to the absurdity of it. Secondly, thank you everyone for the advice in the comments of my previous post. I was lost and looking for some advice because of the uncomfortable situation and people around me felt differently about it than I did. People in the comments were right and I should trust my own feelings rather than searching for answers from the people around me. That's something that I've struggled with my whole life because my family is very reliant on each other and my parents are both helicopter parents. So I learned from young age that I couldn't trust my own instincts because other people know better. Which is why I asked my friends and mom about the situation. I have a lot more work to do in trusting myself but at least I'm working on it now.

Here's the update:

After my previous post, I read through some of the comments and realized that what my boyfriend did would be considered assault. It wasn't something that I had even considered because I was only seeing it as him doing something stupid in the bedroom that broke my boundary and made me uncomfortable. But seeing those comments opened up my eyes a lot. If he was willing to break my boundary only after a year of dating and could do that to me in the bedroom than what else could he be capable of?

I met with him the next day at our apartment and I told him about my feelings which he didn't seem to care about. I showed him the reddit post so that he could see that other people were also uncomfortable with what happened. He read through your comments but when he saw the word 'assault' being used a few times he got really aggravated. I had never seen him that angry before but he was screaming nonstop and he even whipped my coffee mug across the room. I ended up crying because I was scared and I think that snapped him back to reality or something because he stopped yelling and was trying to comfort me. I made him leave our apartment again because I didnt want to be around him anymore. That night my friends helped me pack up my stuff and they took me to my parents house which is where I'm at now.

After I was out of the apartment and safe, I called him and broke up with him over the phone because I didn't feel comfortable doing it in person after his previous reaction. I'm so upset that I wasted over a year of my life dating him and even thinking about a future with him. Thank you all for giving me the courage to follow my feelings and break up with him for good. I really appreciate it. Also, thank you for all the jokes its lightened the mood and has helped me feel a bit better about this situation. Yes ezagreb, the magic is gone and its time for me to disappear.

 

Second, and Last, Update: July 12, 2026 (1 YEAR LATER)

1 YEAR LATER UPDATE: I (24f) want to break up with my magician boyfriend (27m) due to his inappropriate magic trick

I wasn't planning on updating this again but I'm still receiving messages about it so I thought that I should put a mini-update here in case anyone wanted one:

For starters, I have not spoken to him since our breakup. Everything that I've learned about him since the breakup has been through mutual friends and social media posts. He tried to speak to me when we ran into each other at the grocery store once and I just kept walking as if I didn't know who he was. I saw on Facebook that he's still a magician and he advertises himself on our hometown page all the time. He has a 19 year old girlfriend which is disgusting considering he's 28 years old and will be 29 in 6 months. But I don't know anything else about their relationship besides the age gap. I haven't heard about anything nefarious that he's done over the past year (besides getting with his teenage girlfriend). And that's all that I know about him.

Now for my update:

I graduated from college with my Master of Arts in Archaeology 2 months ago, moved out of my hometown, turned 26 a couple days ago, and now I'm currently living and working in Ireland. I'm still single and just focusing on my work for now. I'm apart of an excavation team here in Ireland and I'll be moving back to America sometime next year.

Also, I'm not a library clerk anymore but I did work as one from 2019-early 2026. I've gotten angry messages from people claiming that I was lying about being a library clerk and an Archaeology student because they thought that it was too "perfect" ???? I don't know how to make you guys believe that I'm real besides doxxing myself or something at this point (which I don't want to do because I don't want my professional career to be tied to my ex-boyfriend post). But I was a library clerk and studying Archaeology at the same time. Also, people said that I spelled Archaeology wrong. I have mountains of books about the subject and there are two different ways to spell it. There is 'Archaeology' and 'Archeology.' I've always used the Archaeology spelling and my professors at college didn't have any issue with it so I don't know why people on Reddit did lol. It's also the spelling that is used by the American Anthropological Association which I was apart of back when I was in college. I just wanted to point that out because, again, I have gotten many angry messages about my post "being AI" and me "being fake."

And on the topic of me "being fake," people were saying that I was fake because my account was new and I didn't reply to comments. However, in order to post on r/relationshipadvice the rules stated that I NEEDED to use an account that started with throwRA which is why there was nothing else on my account. I was desperate for advice so I quickly made a new reddit account and I posted about my situation. I had never posted on reddit before so I wrote the post, posted it, and I went to sleep because I thought that only a couple people would see it. By the time I woke up the post was locked and I wasn't allowed to respond to any comments.

There's nothing else that I can do to prove that I'm real or that I went through this situation with my ex. But I still wanna thank you all for giving me the confidence to leave him. It was a terrible and scary situation that could've been worse and I feel like my life has gotten 100 times better since I broke up with him. Thank you to the people who were kind to me- especially in my update post. I felt extremely lost last year and the kind (and funny) comments truly helped me deal my breakup.

I don't think that I'll give anymore updates on here unless I find out that something crazy happened with my ex. But for now I'd love to leave him in the past and focus on my future. Goodbye.

 

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