Today Mayor Katie Wilson announced she’s already fired Seattle’s next police chief after he somehow teargassed Capitol Hill, deleted public records, hired someone to have an affair on the job with, and threatened to fight a reporter all before 9 a.m.
Next Seattle Police Chief Already Fired - The Needling [Satire]
https://theneedling.com/2026/06/20/next-seattle-police-chief-already-fired/
6 Comments
CombatWombat@feddit.online · 18 pts · 48d
But why did we hire an interim police chief who also lives in the Midwest? And why does Barnes get to keep his signing bonus? Are we running some kind of charity for midwestern cops?
velma@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 48d
Barnes also has a federal tax lien on his house in Illinois to the tune of $86,841.14. This grifter got all of us to pay his fucking tax dues.
Fuck this guy.
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 48d
All these allegations are really a coverup for Interim Police Chief Andre Sayles's real crime of referring to Pike Place Market as the location of "the first Starbucks".
TheGoldenV@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 48d
I thought the punishment for that was straight to jail?
Tujio@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 48d
That's if you call it Pike's Place.
rainwall@piefed.social · 3 pts · 47d
Nope, you get "limed," which is when someone ties your shoelaces to a lime bike and tosses you into the sound.
The Seattle lime reefs are coming along nicely, although the local sea life is apparently a bit "zappy" from the close proximity to the batteries.