A guide for medieval fantasy parents.

If a woman on a flying broom asks to give the baby a gift, say no and don't let her inside. Her gift ideas are terrible.

Never live near anyone who teaches swordfighting.

If a man in a pointy had declares your child is the chosen one, deny it and do not let him or a gift from him anywhere near the child. Your home town will last longer.

If your child begins showing signs of wild uncontrollable powers, you are doomed. Take out life insurance.