Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada

I am sure USA's gloriousness worth such a small inconvenience. Who needs toilet paper when you can make your country great again? Can you even be great while having toilet paper? Only sissy-snotty-nongreat-pussies need toilet paper!

I’m imagining a sea of angry red-hatted morons shaking their tiny, shit-smeared fists in anger. Get your house in order and you can have nice things again. Might be time to put down the Big Gulp and take some kind of action? … Naw.

Shitting your pants is all the rage right now in Trumpistan, I hear.

If you're having a hard time getting toilet paper, get a bidet. Hell, if you have an easy time getting toilet paper, still get a bidet. Only real downside is that shitting in toilets other than your own will relatively suck even more.

Even if you rent, there's options, like under the seat ones that you add a line to the water line already going to your toilet that can be easily removed when it's time to move out. Or even better if it's a seat replacement because that's easier to clean. Just hold on to the original seat and put it back when you move.

Bum gun FTW

Oh good this shit again, I can't wait to see people beating each other over toilet paper once more.