[WP] King Arthur returns to lead Great Britain to victory. People don't immediately accept him as their leader, and he has to win a political office before he can begin his work.
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
"Is this where I say 'shut up'? Not that I expected any useful questions from The Sun, but throwing a random quote at me in lieu of one seems a bit beneath even your standards, Mr Boylen."
"Well, you do have the sword, yes?"
"I do. It being a rather antiquated item, and quite illegal to just stroll about with, no matter the dangers of rabid tabloid reporters, it stays stored safely. I believe that is all the questions I'll accept from you, sir."
"Come now 'King Arthur', I'm just the only one willing to ask the real questions that everyone is thinking. You can't expect us to just swallow this whole thing blind."
"I see you didn't ask anything. And it's Arthur King; I am not royalty in any real sense, and my father's name is not to be dismissed. Anyone else want to have a go? Yes, Ms Clayton."
"Well, Mr King, my question is related. You're seeking a seat in the house of commons. Isn't that... common when you used to be King Arthur, and bear a rather lovely magic sword that by all known information ties you to the land in a way that makes you more than a king?"
"I don't believe so, no. Excalibur does give me great authority in many ways. It most assuredly gives me some power as protector of Great Britain. By extension, some degree of power to also protect the full UK exists, though I am still not certain exactly how or why the old me's realm extended to cover lands quite beyond what he ruled then. My magical advisor has some ideas.
Ms Falcon, care to chime in?"
"NI!"
"Quite good then. Please, ladies and gentlemen, I am pressed for time, so restrain your laughter somewhat."
"If I may have a follow-up then; why not just take power? Reclaim the throne?"
"Because it isn't bloody well my throne to take. Don't forget, until I nearly drowned in Dozmary Pool, I was just Arthur King, a rather humorously named birdwatcher on holiday from his job in an accountancy firm. The sword woke my previous life, but it did not make me him. It also woke several of his associates, those currently incarnated in any case; like my magical advisor here.
This nation is not the kingdom I once ruled and loved. It is an entirely new thing. As am I, I suppose, since I am often unsure where King Arthur ends and Arthur King begins. But one thing I am certain of is that to lead this nation and protect it from the storms coming, attempting to seize power would make that impossible.
No, if we are to survive the coming war, then any position of leadership I have must have, as Mr Boylen so kindly reminded us, the mandate of the masses. Here and now that means a place in the house of commons. A place that I hope to win properly, not by the fact of having a fancy sword.
Next question please."
"Todd Barrett, International Press Association. What happens if you don't win? Then, do you take power by force?"
"Absolutely not. If I don't win, well I shall have to find some other way to defend this land. I suspect that will be with the fancy sword, even if it means my death trying to cleave a magic missile in twain. After all, the fancy magical sword isn't some all powerful artifact. Just damnably difficult to damage and with a degree of that protection extending to its rightful bearer. It certainly didn't save the old me, and i understand that Morgana's forces have vast numbers and a great deal of power of their own.
No, if the people do not wish me to lead, then I shall fight for them anyway; alone if need be."
"You mean I have to lie to get elected!?", Arthur cursed under his breath, "what kind of future is it if everyone lies." Arthur paced back and forth. His political advisers eyed him carefully. One of the interns spoke up, "what if you started dating a celebrity to gain some noteriety?"
Arthur looked worried. He could not wrap his mind around popularity and why it was so important. "Why can't I just tell the people I am here to save them?", Arthur questioned. "Because, Arthur, the last guy who said that tanked in the primaries by forty points," sighed Marcus, the campaign manager, rubbing his temples.
"People don't want a savior", Marcus explained, "they want lower taxes, relatable flaws, and someone who won't make them feel guilty about eating fast food. If you tell them you're the Once and Future King then CNN will call you delusional, MSNBC will call you an authoritarian monarchist, and Zombie Twitter will cancel you before lunch."
Arthur stopped in front of the large window in the executive suite staring down at the suffocating river of yellow cabs below. Camelot had known treachery, yes, but it had possessed a spine. In his day, a man’s oath was his bond, sealed in blood or steel. If a knight lied, he answered for it at the end of a lance. Here, deceit was not a vice. It was an industry.
"In my court," Arthur spoke, his voice carrying the deep resonance that once silenced an entire castle, "we sat at a table without head or foot so no man felt lesser. We judged a leader by the widows he protected, not the applause he manufactured."
Marcus leaned back, clicking his pen with an irritating rhythm. "Well, your Round Table didn’t have to survive a twenty-four-hour news cycle. If you won't play the game, leak a scandal about your opponent, or at least let us fake a relationship to People magazine you'll lose. It’s that simple."
Arthur stepped away from the window. He looked at the dry-erase boards scrawled with polling demographics, focus-group reactions, and calculated evasions. "Then I shall lose," Arthur said softly.
5 Comments
MaelGuerra@literature.cafe · 5 pts · 5d
Apologies to any brits scrolling through.
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."
"Is this where I say 'shut up'? Not that I expected any useful questions from The Sun, but throwing a random quote at me in lieu of one seems a bit beneath even your standards, Mr Boylen."
"Well, you do have the sword, yes?"
"I do. It being a rather antiquated item, and quite illegal to just stroll about with, no matter the dangers of rabid tabloid reporters, it stays stored safely. I believe that is all the questions I'll accept from you, sir."
"Come now 'King Arthur', I'm just the only one willing to ask the real questions that everyone is thinking. You can't expect us to just swallow this whole thing blind."
"I see you didn't ask anything. And it's Arthur King; I am not royalty in any real sense, and my father's name is not to be dismissed. Anyone else want to have a go? Yes, Ms Clayton."
"Well, Mr King, my question is related. You're seeking a seat in the house of commons. Isn't that... common when you used to be King Arthur, and bear a rather lovely magic sword that by all known information ties you to the land in a way that makes you more than a king?"
"I don't believe so, no. Excalibur does give me great authority in many ways. It most assuredly gives me some power as protector of Great Britain. By extension, some degree of power to also protect the full UK exists, though I am still not certain exactly how or why the old me's realm extended to cover lands quite beyond what he ruled then. My magical advisor has some ideas.
Ms Falcon, care to chime in?"
"NI!"
"Quite good then. Please, ladies and gentlemen, I am pressed for time, so restrain your laughter somewhat."
"If I may have a follow-up then; why not just take power? Reclaim the throne?"
"Because it isn't bloody well my throne to take. Don't forget, until I nearly drowned in Dozmary Pool, I was just Arthur King, a rather humorously named birdwatcher on holiday from his job in an accountancy firm. The sword woke my previous life, but it did not make me him. It also woke several of his associates, those currently incarnated in any case; like my magical advisor here.
This nation is not the kingdom I once ruled and loved. It is an entirely new thing. As am I, I suppose, since I am often unsure where King Arthur ends and Arthur King begins. But one thing I am certain of is that to lead this nation and protect it from the storms coming, attempting to seize power would make that impossible.
No, if we are to survive the coming war, then any position of leadership I have must have, as Mr Boylen so kindly reminded us, the mandate of the masses. Here and now that means a place in the house of commons. A place that I hope to win properly, not by the fact of having a fancy sword.
Next question please."
"Todd Barrett, International Press Association. What happens if you don't win? Then, do you take power by force?"
"Absolutely not. If I don't win, well I shall have to find some other way to defend this land. I suspect that will be with the fancy sword, even if it means my death trying to cleave a magic missile in twain. After all, the fancy magical sword isn't some all powerful artifact. Just damnably difficult to damage and with a degree of that protection extending to its rightful bearer. It certainly didn't save the old me, and i understand that Morgana's forces have vast numbers and a great deal of power of their own.
No, if the people do not wish me to lead, then I shall fight for them anyway; alone if need be."
ComicalMayhem@literature.cafe · 2 pts · 4d
Lol, this is probably accurate. Thanks for sharing!
Doomsider@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 5d
"You mean I have to lie to get elected!?", Arthur cursed under his breath, "what kind of future is it if everyone lies." Arthur paced back and forth. His political advisers eyed him carefully. One of the interns spoke up, "what if you started dating a celebrity to gain some noteriety?"
Arthur looked worried. He could not wrap his mind around popularity and why it was so important. "Why can't I just tell the people I am here to save them?", Arthur questioned. "Because, Arthur, the last guy who said that tanked in the primaries by forty points," sighed Marcus, the campaign manager, rubbing his temples.
"People don't want a savior", Marcus explained, "they want lower taxes, relatable flaws, and someone who won't make them feel guilty about eating fast food. If you tell them you're the Once and Future King then CNN will call you delusional, MSNBC will call you an authoritarian monarchist, and Zombie Twitter will cancel you before lunch."
Arthur stopped in front of the large window in the executive suite staring down at the suffocating river of yellow cabs below. Camelot had known treachery, yes, but it had possessed a spine. In his day, a man’s oath was his bond, sealed in blood or steel. If a knight lied, he answered for it at the end of a lance. Here, deceit was not a vice. It was an industry.
"In my court," Arthur spoke, his voice carrying the deep resonance that once silenced an entire castle, "we sat at a table without head or foot so no man felt lesser. We judged a leader by the widows he protected, not the applause he manufactured."
Marcus leaned back, clicking his pen with an irritating rhythm. "Well, your Round Table didn’t have to survive a twenty-four-hour news cycle. If you won't play the game, leak a scandal about your opponent, or at least let us fake a relationship to People magazine you'll lose. It’s that simple."
Arthur stepped away from the window. He looked at the dry-erase boards scrawled with polling demographics, focus-group reactions, and calculated evasions. "Then I shall lose," Arthur said softly.
ComicalMayhem@literature.cafe · 2 pts · 4d
Quite liked this one! Thanks for sharing.
eestileib@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 5d
Check out Knight Life by Peter David.