I bet I will

409 points · 21 comments · view on lemmy.world

21 Comments

Todesschnitzel@lemm.ee · 65 pts · 2y (6 replies)

Instructions unclear. Roommate shat his pants while stabbing me repeatedly. Please advise.

odium@programming.dev · 22 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Relationship advice: that's a red flag.

Kalothar@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 2y

Might be a beige flag, they can work through this if that’s what they want

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y

Careers adviser: I advise you to get a career 🤷

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 2y

Your roommate seems to suffer from main character syndrome

Belgdore@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y

“And they were roomates”

roon@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y

They saw the article before you did

dingleberry@discuss.tchncs.de · 38 pts · 2y (4 replies)

😲

💩 😌

🫥🔪😢

Damn! They weren't lying.

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I'm their roommate and I can confirm this

victron@programming.dev · 4 pts · 2y

Were you killed before or after the soiling?

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Are you using your poop knife to kill your roommate?

victron@programming.dev · 1 pts · 2y

Oh, poop knife, now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time

SternburgExport@feddit.de · 38 pts · 2y (6 replies)

Already done one of these and let me just say that I don't have any roommates.

Hazrod@jlai.lu · 18 pts · 2y (1 reply)

God I hope that you shat yourself and the your NEVER had any roommates.

SternburgExport@feddit.de · 7 pts · 2y

I have to let you know that I'm a professional shidder

EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (2 replies)

You say you don’t have any now but say nothing of BEFORE the incident

SternburgExport@feddit.de · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I didn't have any before the incident

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 2y

So there was an incident?

CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

...anymore.

Koboldschadenfroh@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)
[ removed ]
Wumbologist@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Most likely, but The Reductress is a satire site so it could be from any time.

T3rr4T3rr0r@kbin.social · 6 pts · 2y

Damn is it really that crazy of a change