unzips...

878 points · 25 comments · view on lemmy.world

25 Comments

FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee · 70 pts · 2y (14 replies)

I was a heroin addict and only jerked off like once a month for years (i.e. whenever I could get my hands on a couple adderall, i’d get my hands on something else). Now i’m clean and exercising and gaining weight and trying to be a human again, and I kinda started jerking off a bit more and I’ve realized just like with eating — the more I eat the more I feel the need to eat— the more I jerk it the more I find myself wanting to jerk it. Now I feel I’ve opened a degenerate can of worms.

I kind of liked not being a slave to my monke brain… except then I was a slave to my junke brain. Someone just teach me how to live.

ArianaGrande@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 2y (5 replies)

I love masturbating. I think everyone should do it once a day.

Zaphod@discuss.tchncs.de · 43 pts · 2y

Ok Ariane Grande 👍🏼

BastingChemina@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It has been shown than regular masturbation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

So, everyone reading this comment, please masturbate regularly for your own health.

lightnsfw@reddthat.com · 8 pts · 2y

I heard it activates your immune system too. Which explains why I've only been sick once in like 4 years.

Francis_Fujiwara@sh.itjust.works · -23 pts · 2y (1 reply)

No.

photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 2y

Try masturbating every day

______@lemm.ee · 20 pts · 2y

Less serious vices >>>>>> serious vices. You're not hurting anyone. If you really want help I'd suggest professional addiction therapists or something

Imo it's not a problem unless it routinely gets in the way of your goals or lifestyle.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 2y

I wish you all the best and hope you're doing better now, and I mean this with respect but it's pretty fucking funny that the answer to "hmm maybe I jerk off too much" is "do horse"

jackpot@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 2y (5 replies)
PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vVXIK1xCRpY

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

GrievingWidow420@feddit.it · 1 pts · 2y (3 replies)

If only it were a piped link

Turun@feddit.de · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

It is. You can change the text of the link by using [text here](link here)

2xsaiko@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Oh god, why does it do that, making the link text be a different valid link is very misleading

photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 2y

It takes the displayed text of whatever the link was (in this case a web address, further down is a comment with "of this" as the link text) and uses that as the piped link display text. Misleading, yes, but it's due to an understandable issue. Maybe this should be a suggested change.

samus12345@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2y (2 replies)

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

thorbot@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

I never thought I’d die like this, but is always sort of hoped!

EherVielleicht@feddit.de · 0 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y (1 reply)

You made me think of this.

Fuck you, OP, I love you, go fuckin' masturbate.

PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 3 pts · 2y

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

of this.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc · 12 pts · 2y

Jokes on you, i'm too depressed to be horny.

tdawg@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y

Those are rookie numbers

lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

The secret ingredient... is "love"?

CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

You've named your hand "Love"?

"Allright, Love, time to exercise"

TheMemorius@postit.quantentoast.de · 7 pts · 2y

Say hello to crippling porn addiction

ComradeChairmanKGB@lemmygrad.ml · 0 pts · 2y

TMI