c/humor · by Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world · 2y

‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For That

https://www.theonion.com/the-onion-stands-with-israel-because-it-seems-like-yo-1850922505

913 points · 27 comments · view on lemmy.world

27 Comments

shalafi@lemmy.world · 244 pts · 2y (3 replies)

Oh god, The Onion is all in this time.

https://www.theonion.com/dying-gazans-criticized-for-not-using-last-words-to-con-1850925657

https://www.theonion.com/moderate-u-s-politician-believes-israel-should-only-ki-1850922234

lanbanger@kbin.social · 121 pts · 2y

"At press time, the Israeli Defense Forces Twitter account underscored the massive surge of contempt they were contending with by posting a video that featured the shocking savagery of a Palestinian corpse that refused to condemn Hamas even when kicked. "

😐🤣

fsr1967@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 2y

At press time, Danforth expressed confidence that a diplomatic resolution could be reached that would permit Gaza’s collapsed healthcare system to kill the Palestinians instead of war.

Damn, they are on point!

Akasazh@feddit.nl · 13 pts · 2y

Lordy, they aren't pulling punches, are they?

I love it

TunaCowboy@lemmy.world · 155 pts · 2y

most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

Here lies the root of the issue, we've simply reached the logical conclusion of a greed based economic system.

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 150 pts · 2y (3 replies)

[…] some believe it is the responsibility of a newspaper of record like The Onion to delve fully into the nuances of a complex and multifaceted conflict that stretches back not just decades but centuries. These people are wrong.

LMFAO

CheshireSnake@iusearchlinux.fyi · 90 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Why? First, because this editorial board doesn’t like getting yelled at. Second, there are going to be way fewer people with way less power mad at us.

I love this article lmao

Mostly_Gristle@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 2y

And most significantly, it could hurt our quarterly revenue, which is the worst tragedy imaginable.

Amazing.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 84 pts · 2y

The whole thing is great.

“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.

lanbanger@kbin.social · 90 pts · 2y (2 replies)

The Onion's 9/11 coverage was incredible to behold. "Hijackers surprised to find themselves in Hell" was just brilliant.

negativeyoda@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I was living in lower Manhattan when that happened. Seeing that onion issue was the first time I laughed after the fact

lanbanger@kbin.social · 1 pts · 2y

The prior year I was living at 225 Rector Place, and on the day I was working at the top of One Canada Square, which was then Europe's tallest office building. It was a nervous day.

wagesj45@kbin.social · 76 pts · 2y

Why? First, because this editorial board doesn’t like getting yelled at. Second, there are going to be way fewer people with way less power mad at us.

Not untrue.

negativeyoda@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 2y

The onion never misses

iforgotmyinstance@lemmy.world · 51 pts · 2y

Holy shit the Onion had a massacre

Justas@sh.itjust.works · 31 pts · 2y

Ted Kaczynsky's (Unabomber's) signature among the editorial staff is a nice touch.

wahming@monyet.cc · 27 pts · 2y (5 replies)

This hits too close to home to be funny

theragu40@lemmy.world · 64 pts · 2y

It can be easy to forget that while the onion is often one of the funniest things out there, it remains and always has been a satirical newspaper first. And sometimes satire needs to bite more than amuse in order to be truly effective.

ProvableGecko@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I'm sure Gazans would agree if they weren't buried under all that rubble

wahming@monyet.cc · 4 pts · 2y

Home? What home?

oce@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 2y

Well, they could at least try to rofl.

bartlebee@infosec.pub · 11 pts · 2y

I'm pretty sure the Onion's editorial board doesn't live in Gaza.

Blackmist@feddit.uk · 21 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Ugh, too wordy for me.

Just show me a list of pictures of dead kids and bombed cities so I can do my virtual rubbernecking without having to switch my brain on.

Agent641@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)