How are you, men?

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The original was posted on /r/nostupidquestions by /u/maddymarble11 on 2023-06-27 22:14:02+00:00.

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For the recored. I am a 29y lesbian and I am simply curious how does it feel to be in your shoes.

I have watched and noticed a lot of online ( but not only ) shame regarding men that don't earn a lot of money. I've seen women in their 20s who don't earn "a lot" either who mock men that can't fly them for holidays to exotic countries.

I heard statements like "I don't date broke loosers". And it made me think and wonder how dudes feel.

So I understand that some women might earn a generous amount of money per year and they want to date someone at the same level financially. It does make sense.

I also understand that maybe some women want to start a family and they work hard themselves, therefore want someone with the same financial abilities.

I reckon there might be men out there that simply choose to date someone who doesn't work and that are okay to take care financially of the partner and the relationship. By choice.

However, none of those women that shame men, I am mentioned fall under any of the above categories. They are regular women with regular jobs who have this expectation of men to earn huge amount of money.

Does this have anything to do with heterosexual gender roles?

To me it seems that men are valued based on the amount of money they can earn.

Is this a criteria that some people take into consideration for a relationship?

How dudes feel about this seemingly never ending expectation to earn "a lot of money"?

I have also noticed the amount of body shaming short dudes get. I imagine this might be a preference for some women. But from those interviews I've seen, it was bullying, not a preference.

I am simply curious if men feel any kind if pressure to make money, to "provide" for the women and if they feel any less valuable if they can't. Or this doesn't really bother men.

In my opinion, and I don't care the amount of downvotes I'll get, expecting the other partner to provide for me financially builds up a imbalanced dynamic of power and puts a lot of pressure on the other person. And I am not reffering to occasional gifts here. Simply dating someone based on the amount of money they earn or can give me. Curious about your thoughts, my dudes.