c/theonion · by ZeroCool@feddit.ch · 2y

Commander Biden Bites All 221 House Republicans, Seizes Speakership

https://thehardtimes.net/culture/commander-biden-bites-all-221-house-republicans-seizes-speakership/

464 points · 12 comments · view on lemmy.world

12 Comments

grte@lemmy.ca · 82 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Good boy.

theodewere@kbin.social · 21 pts · 2y

i think i'm giving him the full "who's a good boy, YES YOU ARE!!"

Whiskey_iicarus@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 51 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Usually you don't wish an onion article was real life

RojoSanIchiban@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y

Onionception

GreenMario@lemm.ee · 23 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I would unironically vote for some dog or cat over 99.99999999999999% of humanity at this point if given the option.

Jessvj93@lemmy.world · 22 pts · 2y

And that 00.000000000000001% is Jon Stewart, cause why the hell not? He's got free time now 🤷‍♂️ and we haven't tried Democratic TV show host comedian yet on the Bingo chart.

TWeaK@lemm.ee · 19 pts · 2y

“That son-of-a-bitch burst through the door into my office like a bat out of hell. He immediately set his teeth to my left calf and would not let go for what felt like an eternity,” said the outraged McHenry. “As I howled in pain, that damn dog leapt onto my desk and seized the House gavel. ‘No you don’t! Drop it! Drop it!’ I yelled as I turned quickly to grab the other end. We then began to engage in a rancorous tug-of-war; one that continued for nearly 10 minutes. Ultimately, he bested me and took off, gavel in mouth"

Here, here.

Buelldozer@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y

Give Commander a Medal!

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 2y

It sounds like a pretty ruff deal tbh

roguetrick@kbin.social · 9 pts · 2y

At this point they likely would vote for him if he does that.

21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com · 7 pts · 2y

Usually these headlines don't actually make me laugh out loud but this one pulled it off.

ASaltPepper@lemmy.one · 4 pts · 2y

The presidential veneers finally came into play!