Solid financial advice

I'm a financial advisor and you should take this seriously

651 points · 28 comments · view on lemmy.world

28 Comments

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world · 67 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Yeah but sucking that much dick is difficult when you don't have the heroin to forget...

WereCat@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 2y (1 reply)
  • Find a $500k house for sale
  • Don't buy it
  • You just saved $500k
  • Repeat
redballooon@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y

woah, just last week I didn't buy a $3m villa. I gotta check my balances.

Lexam@lemmy.ca · 25 pts · 2y (7 replies)

That's $109,500 a year before taxes. Not bad but not rich.

takeda@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y (5 replies)

That's the money you save by not using heroin, not income, you should not need to pay taxes on it.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world · -8 pts · 2y (4 replies)

Could, you fit, any,more commas, in there?,

takeda@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Thanks, I had no idea that one extra comma could overwhelm to someone.

ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y

I think you used the correct number of commas, fuck the haters

Alexstarfire@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

We need a CommaHorror on Lemmy.

user224@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 2y

,T,h,a,t,’,s, ,t,h,e, ,m,o,n,e,y, ,y,o,u, ,s,a,v,e, ,b,y, ,n,o,t, ,u,s,i,n,g, ,h,e,r,o,i,n, ,n,o,t, ,i,n,c,o,m,e, ,y,o,u, ,s,h,o,u,l,d, ,n,o,t, ,n,e,e,d, ,t,o, ,p,a,y, ,t,a,x,e,s, ,o,n, ,i,t,.,

You're welcome.

WoodenBleachers@lemmy.basedcount.com · 2 pts · 2y

It’s definitely not, at least by my math. 300/8 (for an 8 hour day) is 37.5 an hour. 40 hours a week makes this 1,500. 52 weeks in a year is 78,000. A much lower number.

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Tried this but I now have debt with people that want to hurt me. Help.

takeda@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y

Fight hate with love. You need more dick sucking to pay your debt. Remember, don't do it for free.

Alexstarfire@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Just sell your kneecaps. Win-win since they can no longer break them.

TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Funny thing is I actually lived that life. I was a heroin addict, I got to the point of needing $200-$300 daily to get me by. Part of my motivation for quitting was the thought that I would have so much money for whatever once I kicked the habit... and once I got off the shit, I no longer had that kind of money. I guess I wasn't desperate enough to figure out schemes to make that much every day. So this meme is bullshit! I thank the gods I didn't end up a prostitute at least... but I would probably have more money if I did. Damn it.

bitsplease@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Out of curiosity - what schemes were you cooking up for that kind of money? Given that you said you didnt end up a prostitute the obvious answer is out lol

TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I was a functioning addict, and had a job where I was able to tweak the records here and there to make more every day than I should have... by a couple hundred. It was amazing how incompetent the boss man was.

bitsplease@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y

That's wild, can't believe they didn't notice thousands missing every month..

Glad you got clean before things caught up

pipe01@lemmy.pipe01.net · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Damn, $300 daily is a crazy amount of money

meliaesc@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

$50/hr at a standard 9-5, ignoring the need for basic necessities like shelter or food.

DrQuint@lemm.ee · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I've told this to smokers all my life. By quitting cigars they could have 2 extra ice creams plus some cheetos every day. Yeah those were my metrics when I started, I refuse to change them.

Darkhoof@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

But then they would eventually become obese.

remotelove@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I think the real benefit is discovering what it is like to be in a pure and absolute state of desperation trying to find enough money to get the next fix.

You could become a heroin addict, or a CEO that is about to report during earnings season. There is little to distinguish the two when you look at it.

BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

One could end up in prison in the process of making the needed money and the other is a CEO

son_named_bort@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

How to get rich:

  1. Get lots of money
  2. ??????????
  3. Profit
jcdenton@lemy.lol · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

You forgot the 20,000 in rehab therapy

PieMePlenty@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y

You pay it off in 2 months though.