40A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 2y · 2 comments
3I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 2y · 0 comments
13I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 2y · 0 comments
6Peter Pan is a terrible boxer. Whenever he throws a punch, it neverlands. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 2y · 0 comments
15I learned Morse code and then I couldn't sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 3y · 1 comments
16I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. c/oneliners · by voiceoverguy@lemmy.world · 3y · 0 comments
12Last night I had sex for one hour and 2 minutes, thank you daylight saving time. c/oneliners · by TehBamski@lemmy.world · 3y · 0 comments
