Attach a bidet to your toilet. It's worth it

Not only will a bidet save you on toilet paper, but you will actually feel like you have a clean butt after pooping. Initially it feels weird, but after you get used to it, you won't want to poop without it.

BTW in case you are wondering: yes, you still need toilet paper to wipe the water off. But it is a small amount.

94 points · 25 comments · view on lemmy.world

25 Comments

Talose@vlemmy.net · 19 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Literally the only downside of a bidet is that after you get accustomed to it, pooping anywhere without one might as well be torture

Bender12@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3y (1 reply)

I feel like a dirty savage when I have to poop in strange bathrooms. Took me 45 years to realize that bidet is the way.

Evoliddaw@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 2y

What changed your mind? I've been trying to convince my pleb friends for years now and they all get awkward when I bring it up. Everyone poops. Do it better. You can get aftermarket add-ons so cheap now there's no reason not to.

Edit: sorry just switched instances and didn't realize how old this post was.

Dreadrat@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 3y (3 replies)

You can also buy a portable Bidet for like 10 bucks

sheridan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y (2 replies)

How well do they work?

Dreadrat@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Pretty good! The ones with the sharp bend are better than the straighter ones.

Fill it up with warm water before you poop for comfortable washing action.

No more wiping a permanent marker.

Idreamofcheesy@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3y

You do you, but that sounds a little extra. Unless it's for your hotel room or something.

Mr_Buscemi@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 3y (1 reply)

I can second everything said here.

I wouldn't have dared eaten 4 Volcano tacos & 1/2 a volcano burrito from Taco bell at once if it wasn't for my bidet attachment.

It saved me at 11pm,1am,3am,3:15am,3:50am and then finally at 4am. I saw the beans meme be brought to life & flourish that night as the water cleaned away the sins from my ass.

Eating them at night before 4th of July was a decision.

Frolicswithforts@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 3y

The number of risky food decisions I’ve taken since purchasing a bidet is uncountable. A good bidet truly absolves you of all food sin.

snailwizard@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y

I spent $300 on mine and my QoL improved immeasurably. Best money I have ever spent. It’s worth every penny!

electronicoldman@lemmy.fmhy.ml · 3 pts · 3y
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exterstellar@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y (2 replies)

If you're fortunate enough to have a bidet AND a dryer, no toilet paper required baby.

GregoryTheGreat@programming.dev · 4 pts · 3y (1 reply)

I think I’d like to double check.

electronicoldman@lemmy.fmhy.ml · 1 pts · 3y
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poopsmith@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y (2 replies)

Honestly, splurging and buying a more-expensive ones is worth it. I now require a heated seat, warm water, and a dryer.

LordOfTheChia@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Pfft, real upscale bidets also have lights, background music, and spray your bottom with your choice of scent when it's done (Cherry, Vanilla, or New Car Smell).

Chickenstalker@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y (1 reply)

No need to wipe dry with TP. Simply twerk your ass until it dries.

TauZero@mander.xyz · 3 pts · 3y

I use a butt towel. Just need to remember to move it if any guests visit, lest they start drying their face on it.

InvaderDJ@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3y (1 reply)

I really want one, but I’m renting and the model I want needs an electrical outlet. There’s one on the other side of the wall right by my toilet, but I can’t have one put in.

TauZero@mander.xyz · 2 pts · 3y

Get an analog one without delay. That was my #1 concern before getting a bidet: "Wouldn't the water feel cold? Do I need a heater?" Guess what! After getting one that simply plugs into the cold water pipe I can now tell assuredly: the ass can't tell the difference. There are simply not enough nerve endings down there to sense the cold. Wish someone had told me sooner!

Whatawiffer@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

I'm late to this but it's also the 2nd from the top all time post here so I think it should be said. I disagree, at least with a cheap add-on bidet.

The cheap ones don't heat the water first so you're sprayed with cold uncomfortable water, then you're left with a wet, cold, soggy bottom that you then need to wipe dry, so you still ended up using some tp.

cyberpunk007@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 3y (2 replies)

I just don't get how poo doesn't spray everywhere

van2z@programming.dev · 1 pts · 3y (1 reply)

It sprays into the toilet

cyberpunk007@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y

but your asshole is not in the toilet. 🤷‍♂️