Just wanted to let y'all know: you can't kidnap seagulls from a parking lot.

Seagulls are protected under the "Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918". This means that it is illegal to capture, kill, or keep a seagull in your home (unless you have a special permit).

So, no: you cannot go into the Meijer parking lot, yoink a seagull from the flock, and take it home.

This PSA has been brought to you by an argument with my son during a grocery pick-up.

Thank you.

121 points · 27 comments · view on lemmy.world

27 Comments

WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world · 55 pts · 2y (12 replies)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev · 20 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Almost happened to me once, but then I ran. I ran so far away. I just ran, I ran all night and day.

WhereGrapesMayRule@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

It's not so bad, really. From up here, Aurora borealis comes in view

SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz · 18 pts · 2y

I understand that this is upsetting, as I know many Michigan residents who have lost loved ones in the Seagull Wars.

However, seagull deterrents are legal, as long as it does not directly harm the birds themselves.

psycho_driver@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (3 replies)

So unfair. Meanwhile, if a flock of seagulls picks you up and flies away with you, there are no legal consequences for them whatsoever.

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with. They'd be more likely to run so far away with you.

BleakBluets@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (2 replies)

A human would probably be too heavy for a flock of seagulls to fly away with.

Perhaps too heavy for Herring Gulls, but they could be carried by Great Black-Backed Gulls.

Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 2y

Perhaps if they were to put you on a line between them

Seleni@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

I really feel there’s a coconut joke in here somewhere

ivanafterall@kbin.social · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Not entirely true. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move.

dumpsterlid@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

Unless the seagulls pick you up in a giant ass peach with the intention of freeing you from an abusive parent.

llamapants@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y

However, if A Flock of Seagulls picked you up and took off with you, there WOULD be legal consequences.

Infynis@midwest.social · 5 pts · 2y

This is their land, we just moved here

anachronist@midwest.social · 1 pts · 2y

Seagulls have no respect for the law. https://i.makeagif.com/media/2-19-2018/aP6IRw.gif

Nougat@fedia.io · 9 pts · 2y (2 replies)

What if they poke you in the coconut?

ivanafterall@kbin.social · 3 pts · 2y

That counts as consent.

theodewere@kbin.social · 2 pts · 2y

then the coconut has a pretty good case and should call a lawyer

dingus182@endlesstalk.org · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

This entire post has been a wonderful read. Thank you all, for the good work you do.

SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 2y

You're welcome. Happy to contribute useful knowledge to the community. 👍

ivanafterall@kbin.social · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Well, I'd like to see anyone stop me, cuz my living room full of seagulls begs to differ.

SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz · 4 pts · 2y

When the feds come to your door, they're gonna hear all those seagulls.

anachronist@midwest.social · 4 pts · 2y

Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.

lesbian_seagull@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)
[ removed ]
SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 2y

What if someone ask that you "come with me", lesbian_seagull?

Bo7a@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 2y

This law brought to you by the seagullmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lNqicJOvR8

thantik@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Does this cover ducks at the park too? Because if so I think I'm in trouble.

SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 2y

Wild ducks are also protected under this law.

If they are domesticated ducks, then they are more than likely owned & you may have committed the crime of theft.

If you find a domesticated duck at the park with conformation that it is not owned or was abandoned, go for it.

Ducks are so messy, though.. so unless you have an adequate outdoor space with a good water source, maybe rethink your duck-yoinking.

Cruxifux@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

No. It can’t. Alex Jones would never lie to me.

jayrodtheoldbod@midwest.social · 2 pts · 2y

They can absolutely kidnap you though