5 Moves to Rulemate

359 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 64 pts · 2y (6 replies)

First of all: That's not how you play chess (left image).

KISSmyOS@feddit.de · 34 pts · 2y

The "error" is designed to boost engagement, which makes the post more visible on social media.
And it works.

Jakra@aussie.zone · 30 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It’s not how YOU play chess. 😂

5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 2y

Chaos. 💣

This is merely a small step towards the heat death of the universe, but a big one from humanity.

PapaStevesy@midwest.social · 6 pts · 2y

But it is a double checkmate, which is pretty rare.

thesporkeffect@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Haven't you heard about Cheskers?

MadBob@feddit.nl · 3 pts · 2y

That sounds like an extremely posh nickname.

SurfinBird@lemmy.ca · 33 pts · 2y

Do you have a vibrator in your butt?

Wilzax@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 2y

"you're getting mated"

Deestan@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Nuh-uh! You touched it, so now you have to follow through. We're playing tournament rules.

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Ah, a fellow competitive sex enjoyer

Deestan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

My sexual ELO is listed in bold on my Tinder profile.

Zip2@feddit.uk · 21 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 20 pts · 2y

"I see you've played the Frenchman's cumsock"

magic_lobster_party@kbin.run · 19 pts · 2y

“I’ll shove a bishop in my ass”

WagnasT@iusearchlinux.fyi · 16 pts · 2y

I'll be black this time.

owenfromcanada@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y

"This isn't my favorite starting position, but I'll see if I can maneuver things to get better leverage."

Alsjemenou@lemy.nl · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Google it.

lugal@sopuli.xyz · 2 pts · 2y

Holy hell!

owenfromcanada@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y

"I normally do this by myself. It's nice to have a partner."

akilou@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 2y

That's exactly how I like my anal beads

MadBob@feddit.nl · 7 pts · 2y (4 replies)

You can say anything you fucking want in either context.

skylestia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 2y (3 replies)

i'm going to grin and say checkmate the next time my bf and i

and i'm going to moan and say i'm cumming the next time i'm about to either beat someone or lose to someone in chess

MadBob@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 2y (2 replies)

You could also say, for instance, "I believe the autumn's coming in late this year", and what's he going to do? Stop you?

skylestia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

lol knowing my bf if i said something like that he'd say something like "actually i'm pretty sure winter's coming" before he does

skulblaka@startrek.website · 3 pts · 2y

Homeboy is dick-deep making a detailed meteorological forecast, my man's got a mind like a steel trap

synae@lemmy.sdf.org · 7 pts · 2y

Holy hell

runeko@programming.dev · 7 pts · 2y

White knight takes black queen.

Deestan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Excuse me, that is an illegal move.

synae@lemmy.sdf.org · 3 pts · 2y

As long as it's not an illegal sex

SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2y

That piece can't move that way!

Speculater@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Who can last five minutes in bed?! That's a ridiculously high standard.

Moose@moose.best · 6 pts · 2y

It says 5 moves, which could average 10 seconds or less per move if it's speed chess sex, so a much more realistic standard.

hOrni@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

In Polish you can say, sometimes You're pushing a Queen, sometimes You're beating a horse, which are coloquialisms for having sex and masturbating.

hollo@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 2y

There's no way you came up with that move yourself, you're cheating!

Pretty by-the-book so far, let's get interesting.

That's not fast enough to get a promotion.

Go ahead, take me. See what happens.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

"..shit, I forgot about the bishop"

"Wow, the king really IS useless! Good thing the queen is so versatile"

"Hey! No butt help!"

Deestan@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y (1 reply)

J'adoube!

chumbalumber@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 2y

Complete silence except for the odd quietly muttered 'adjust', and the rhythmic sound of a c(l)ock being slapped.

ApfelstrudelWAKASAGI@feddit.de · 4 pts · 2y

There's a lot of things you could say there, they would just result in your expulsion from the chess club.

Deestan@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Patience, please, while I consider my next move.

ICastFist@programming.dev · 3 pts · 2y

"What I'm about to do is a pro-gamer move"

ProgrammingSocks@pawb.social · 2 pts · 2y

Nice breasts

MaryReads@lemmy.cafe · 1 pts · 2y

I like your tower move