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1: "This wasn't what I was thinking when you said you wanted an open relationship."

2: "What were you expecting?"

1: "I don't know, but it wasn't her."

I know you care, but really, we're ok. It'll all be better once we're married.

"I told you we should have eaten at the other place"

So Ted, how has life been after you stared in those films?

I asked for beer, James. Not a teddy bear.