Time to cancel this tortoise

546 points · 19 comments · view on lemmy.world

19 Comments

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 54 pts · 2y

He tried to help out the underground railroad but he was too slow.

dariusj18@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 2y

It was a different time

Fizz@lemmy.nz · 17 pts · 2y

I'm sure the tortoise would say the same back to Lil Nas x.

Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 2y

I really enjoy lil Nas X's sense of humour.

ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I think he's still on his way to join the raid on area 51.

Zink@programming.dev · 2 pts · 2y

The front of his shell just kind of grinds along the ground when he’s in his full Naruto run.

CouncilOfFriends@slrpnk.net · 10 pts · 2y (2 replies)

If we dig through Jonathan's social media posts, guaranteed there is something problematic.

Retrograde@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y (1 reply)

All I'm gonna say is don't read up on his opinions of turtles

Zink@programming.dev · 3 pts · 2y

Not that the world’s oldest and largest tortoises are horrible turtle-racists against the pleb species or anything.

stanleytweedle@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y

If he was born in 1836 it only took him 25 years to manipulate America from across an ocean to fight a war to end slavery .

Don't see how he could have done much better than that.

simbico@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 2y

He's ~191 now Jonathan_(tortoise)

blahsay@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

Doesn't look a day over 150

BilboBargains@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

Jonathan was like, get those n-words in the field.

Cosmicomical@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

I read somewhere that Lincoln said the tortoise would find him and whisper secrets. Wait maybe it wasn't Lincoln, but still. Leave the tortoise in the chamber of secrets.

MacNCheezus@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 2y

TBF he looks pretty depressed about it so perhaps he regrets it now

Linkerbaan@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Lil Nas X watching the Genocide in Gaza happen and doing nothing.

barooboodoo@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

Lil bro killed the devil, what the fuck have you done?

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 2y

Holy shit, I can't believe what he's done, here's a thread of his other sins!

OMG a hit tweet, here's my podcast, watch [show], please follow [creator]!

JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee · 0 pts · 2y (1 reply)
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rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

I reckon he might have been joking to be honest

Bryanbat@discuss.online · -6 pts · 2y
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