it ain't the herps, I swear

598 points · 21 comments · view on lemmy.world

21 Comments

db2@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 2y (1 reply)

A big brown dripping hot sausage. 😈

You had me at dripping.. 💦

Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net · 37 pts · 2y (5 replies)

This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.

Fuck

telllos@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Don't cook homemade caramel.

AKA confectioners napalm

steal_your_face@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Larry David is that you?

If my hairline keeps migrating, i may look like him soon

You know what got me to stop wearing contacts for good? Bacon grease popped directly into my eye.

rockerface@lemm.ee · 25 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one

I've got a scar on my foot from a splash of caramel fresh from the pan

over_clox@lemmy.world · 23 pts · 2y (1 reply)

If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...

Don't demonic possession shame people. They are vessels and can't choose the nature of the spirit that has taken their mortal form.

Don't use your teeth!

slingstone@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's not the herp, it's the derp.

Por que no los dos? Even Wizards get it from their parents.

Sam_Bass@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure

Forking does relieve pressure.

"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"

> I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.

"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"

You people bake your sausages?

shasta@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y

So "hot food". Problem solved.

kyle@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y

Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.