Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.
Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.
I have no idea how one can avoid having bare skin contact with a couch for five years. Unless you always wear long sleeve shirts, socks and long pants and be very careful about where you put your hands.
27 Comments
MossyFeathers@pawb.social · 89 pts · 2y
Maybe it didn't, but it does now.
Etterra@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Oh it absolutely does now.
windowsphoneguy@feddit.org · 69 pts · 2y
I thought it meant Jackin Decouch
MermaidsGarden@lemmy.world · 52 pts · 2y
Are people still talking about JD Vance having sex with a couch? We need to put to bed the idea of JD Vance having sex with a couch. It’s not appropriate for people to think of Vice Presidential candidate JD Vance having sex with a couch. JD Vance has gone on record to deny that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within the last 5 years. It’s absurd that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after making sweet, passionate love to a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.
Once again, there is no evidence of JD Vance having sex with a couch. You need to stop calling JD Vance a couchfucker.
evidences@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y
Pssst just a heads up there's no Cleveland area IKEA, there are however an Ikea in both the Columbus and Cincinnati areas.
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 2y
They probably had to close the IKEA in Cleveland after homie fucked a couch in it. That's the type of situation that will ruin a business.
Th3D3k0y@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Is all Appalachian... right? Like Middletown, middle of Appalachian town... Dude's an idiot
photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 2y
I have no idea how one can avoid having bare skin contact with a couch for five years. Unless you always wear long sleeve shirts, socks and long pants and be very careful about where you put your hands.
gentooer@programming.dev · 2 pts · 2y
As one should.
disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Jammin Davenport
Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 2y
Jizzen De-Lazyboy.
Minarble@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 2y
Jizzin Dolphins
Ranger@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 60 pts · 2y
I won't stand for this slander against my boi Jorkin Depeanus
SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
That's right we have to FIGHT! FLIGHT!
Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 40 pts · 2y
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 10 pts · 2y
Can they prove it doesn't?
Let's see his birth certificate.
synae@lemmy.sdf.org · 31 pts · 2y
Jance Dance Vance
TimeNaan@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
It's a Jance Dance Vance Chance!
RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works · 25 pts · 2y
Jiant Dildo
OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
Justin DeCouch
germanatlas@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 2y
Jackass Dingus
richtellyard@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Jilted Duvet
Randelung@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
methinks he doth protest too much
Psythik@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Jackass Dipshit
norimee@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
You sure?
SidewaysHighways@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Can this be confirmed?
Etterra@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
I don't know why but my inner 13-year-old thought this was hilarious AF 😂