Make sure your wifi is wired to the wall, then your neighbor's crime counts as wire fraud. As a private, natural person, you might also look into some loopholes in the Uniform Commercial Code.
Even if you manage to stop the WiFi hack he can still get in to your network through the ethernet ports. He could train an army of ants to pull a wire through a small hole in your wall and attach it to your router.
Just in case, fill all your unused ports with yoghurt. This will drown the ants
Easy, buy a nice second hand microwave, remove any shielding from the rear part. Ask a skilled friend to make it microwave stronger. Put it as close as possible to neighb’s wifi. Switch it on, leave it on, hacking is now fixed.
20 Comments
DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 2y
Just switch to open source beer
Sanctus@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y
No, no. You have to line the trees with mirrors to reflect his hacking signals.
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com · 9 pts · 2y
What if I just dig a moat? Shovels are only $13.
Sanctus@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
He'll just fill it with alligators and wait you out.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
Make sure your wifi is wired to the wall, then your neighbor's crime counts as wire fraud. As a private, natural person, you might also look into some loopholes in the Uniform Commercial Code.
clockwork_octopus@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
If you can find a bear, it might be enough to distract the neighbor, and maybe he’ll share his trees with you
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com · 9 pts · 2y
I could try to train an army of attack ducks. They say the ducks at the park are free. I know a guy that has 2 pet ducks.
Lifebandit666@feddit.uk · 10 pts · 2y
Even if you manage to stop the WiFi hack he can still get in to your network through the ethernet ports. He could train an army of ants to pull a wire through a small hole in your wall and attach it to your router.
Just in case, fill all your unused ports with yoghurt. This will drown the ants
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 2y
Easy, buy a nice second hand microwave, remove any shielding from the rear part. Ask a skilled friend to make it microwave stronger. Put it as close as possible to neighb’s wifi. Switch it on, leave it on, hacking is now fixed.
juliebean@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 2y
i recommend you invest in a good beer safe with a good fire wall. maybe a wall safe, and install it behind this painting.
Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc · 6 pts · 2y
The solution is pretty simple:
Either drink all your beer so he can still none, or turn off your wifi so he can't hack.
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 2y
By now he has likely already hacked my wifi hard enough to know I have beer and is already plotting a heist.
So I guess it's beer drinking time.
guy_threepwood@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Just set up an unprotected network with a fun proxy:
https://pete.ex-parrot.com/upside-down-ternet.html
zxqwas@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
You can use those plastic xmas trees as long as you have enough metal ornaments in them.
I recommend metal tinsels because they are easier to ground.
abbadon420@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
Have you tried a binary tree? They can grow very fast and are very resistant against digital attacks.
Edit: bonary tree -> binary tree
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 2y
Haha bone
clover@piefed.social · 3 pts · 2y
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 2y
Write a 20000 word essay about the evils of wifi hacking and why morons that hack into your wifi to steal you beer are total losers.
clover@piefed.social · 1 pts · 2y
chevy9294@monero.town · 2 pts · 2y
Juat drink all the beer and he will have nothing to steal :)
Schmuppes@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Bamboo, dude. Will grow 100 ft tall in no time.
oo1@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 2y
Replace beer with piss.