I know this is just a "grass is always greener" because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it's only getting worse, but damn, I'm really sitting here on my lunch break going "Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole".
On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.
24 Comments
spaghetti_hitchens@fedia.io · 95 pts · 1y
I, too, spontaneously ejaculate if I stare at my reflection long enough.
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net · 52 pts · 1y
Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away, need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I
Jizz in my pants
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works · 30 pts · 1y
"would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard. If fuck me so hard"
Damage@feddit.it · 6 pts · 1y
I, too, ejaculate if I stare at your reflection
sxan@midwest.social · 6 pts · 1y
I have to completely avoid mirrors, myself. Walking down a city street on a sunny day is downright hazardous, lest I catch a glimpse of my reflection.
athairmor@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
Imagine the seizure of bliss and horror a carnival house of mirrors with evoke.
NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee · 86 pts · 1y
I know this is just a "grass is always greener" because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it's only getting worse, but damn, I'm really sitting here on my lunch break going "Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole".
On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.
ValenThyme@reddthat.com · 52 pts · 1y
kureta@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1y
They don't want to be a cuttlefish jizmopper. They want to be a cuddlefish jizmopper. Much cozier species.
Alcatorda@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y
That's cute actually
superkret@feddit.org · 51 pts · 1y
I stare at a big, brightly lit rectangle and press little rectangles with my fingers.
I get paid about $0.02 per rectangle press on average.
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net · 34 pts · 1y
Do the rectangle presses have to form a sort of order? Or can you optimize your pressing by rolling your head on them until the day is over?
superkret@feddit.org · 41 pts · 1y
Most days I feel like it doesn't matter.
Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 29 pts · 1y
tja@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 1y
(?)
NegativeInf@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y
I need a job like this.
ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net · 13 pts · 1y
You want a job to get cum out of fish?
NegativeInf@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y
Like this. Not this job. Basic scientific research.
tdawg@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y
You don't?
finickydesert@lemmy.ml · 12 pts · 1y
Would he be considered into autoeroticism?
superkret@feddit.org · 25 pts · 1y
No, he isn't smart enough to recognize himself in a mirror. He just ejaculates whenever he thinks he sees another scuttlefish, hoping it's a female.
clif@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 1y
I don't know if "scuttlefish" was intentional but I love it.
billwashere@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
"It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination."
lunachocken@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y
When you get the instructions wrong for self love
KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 1y
When you get the instructions RIGHT for self love