That's rough, buddy.

I feel personally attacked.

As we grow older, our circle of friends becomes smaller. This is natural. For most people, their largest number of friends will be at school/college/military due the nature of the environment. Once you leave, your friends will be your co-workers, housemates, neighbours. As you grow older, many of them will die off. Eventually, you will be left alone, save for your spouse and children. Such is life.

If these are my golden years I can’t imagine what shit is waiting for me in the future

This hit me so hard my phone screen cracked

At best these are pewter years

I didn't have any friends in school, high school or college and of course I wouldn't break the tradition even if I knew how to

From geek to geek, the transition is complete.

This hits me in the feels.

Maury the results are in you are the geek father lady jumps up I told you bitch I told you

I found my people.

Oh. It's me.

Good news is that you're almost certainly not the father.

Golden as a golden shower