Officers seize bag with ‘Definitely not a bag full of drugs’ printed on it – and it was full of drugs, Police Bureau says

https://www.oregonlive.com/crime/2024/10/officers-seize-bag-with-definitely-not-a-bag-full-of-drugs-printed-on-it-and-it-was-full-of-drugs-police-bureau-says.html

Bypass paywall: https://archive.is/LPZOc

267 points · 17 comments · view on lemmy.world

17 Comments

rockSlayer@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 1y

I can't believe someone would violate the unshaking honor of the words printed on a bag like this

CatZoomies@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 1y (7 replies)
[ removed ]
TexasDrunk@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y (2 replies)

You forgot the part where they yelled "Without prejudice!" and signed their bag in blue ink at a 45° angle.

CatZoomies@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y (1 reply)
[ removed ]
vortexsurfer@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

You should also say/yell "I do not consent!", because it's illegal to search or arrest someone without their consent. It was a popular spell a few years ago, but I don't see it being used much anymore, so it's possible that the cops have found a counterspell. 😉

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

They paid $2000 to a guy they saw on YouTube to learn how to be tackled by that cop.

CatZoomies@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
[ removed ]
jaybone@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

I am just transporting a bag. The contents are not officially licensed to be regulated by the state.

ilost7489@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 1y

Ah yes Straw Man, drug kingpin

Deceptichum@quokk.au · 19 pts · 1y (2 replies)
[ removed ]
seaQueue@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Meth chess

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

Now I want to see two meth heads play chess, itll either be the most riveting game of chess or a gladiatorial matchup either way I am entertained.

jpreston2005@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y

They definitely thought it was hilarious to keep drugs in that bag. However;

Officers on Tuesday night stopped a man and a woman driving a stolen car in Southeast Portland, and they found much more than a stolen car

They broke the most important rule. When breaking the law, only break one at a time. If you're gonna carry around your fun joke drug bag, don't do it while driving a stolen car.

rebelsimile@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 1y

This is the kind of thing Chief Wiggum would proudly hold a press conference about while the thieves are carting away city hall in the background.

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I wonder if the dude who got caught with it was dumbfounded that his plan didn't work.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

He must have been. "Trust me, bro" always works with cops. He probably even told the officer, "you've got to tell me if you're a cop. You know that, right?"

ebits21@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 1y

Security through obscurity. Not the best practice.

DudeImMacGyver@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y

I can't believe the bag would just lie like that!

Creat@discuss.tchncs.de · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Hey I got the same precision scale. Neat.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

I spent a few years retailing on eBay, selling off my father's vast collections (he was like a hoarder, except much of his stuff had actual value) and I had a postal scale for lighter objects since most of the things I was selling were not more than a couple of pounds.

So it looked like a drug scale.

I used to have to show people that it actually said it was a postal scale on it if they came over and asked me if I was dealing drugs.

queermunist@lemmy.ml · 0 pts · 1y

"Aww get out of here you rascals! Don't let me catch you again!"