me_irl

241 points · 15 comments · view on lemmy.world

15 Comments

Asafum@feddit.nl · 24 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Ahh yes the old excuse of "I can't come, the ghost of Hitler is having a nervous breakdown."

I need to be there for my homie.

...wait

veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Better then Get this: My nephew gave me syphilis.

unmagical@lemmy.ml · 19 pts · 1y (2 replies)

The whole HS marching band, eh?

GladiusB@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

All of it. Including the trombone.

dharmacurious@slrpnk.net · 1 pts · 1y

Change it to a college marching band and I'd sign up for that course of antibiotics

moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 1y

Sorry I can't come, a professional hockey team gave me syphilis.

Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

Roll 3d10.

absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz · 7 pts · 1y

This is going to sound like an excuse, but my tinder date found my box of human teeth.....now she wants to show me hers.

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 1y

I can't go because Dan Rather gave me syphilis

sounds about right

PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Is MAD magazine back?

Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 6 pts · 1y

Yes, actually. They started printing it again just last month, and prior to that they were putting out collections of older material.

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

I can't go because the Pope posted my nudes on Instagram. Plus a high school marching band died in front of me, but whatevs. They were crap 🤷

tiramichu@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

Many of these sound pretty believable if you go with the "my Tinder date" option.

LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.com · 1 pts · 1y

ROFL I would use these only if I were being particularly cheeky to someone that I didn't like.

5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 1y
[ removed ]
PlaidBaron@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

What flag is this?