The Batcave is suspiciously guano-free. Alfred has some really thankless jobs.

"Alfred, there's bat shit on the batputer again."

"Coming, Master Bruce. I just need to fetch the wet wipes again."

185 points · 21 comments · view on lemmy.world

21 Comments

DahGangalang@infosec.pub · 56 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Perhaps harvesting the guano is where the Wayne family wealth truly comes from.

Deebster@programming.dev · 30 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Wayne Industries Organic Fertilizer

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 27 pts · 1y (1 reply)

GWNO .... (pronounced Guano)

Greater
Wayne
Nitrogen
Organics

rockerface@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

They need to expand into other countries so that they can rename to Greater International Wayne Nitrogen Organics

teft@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y (1 reply)

In front of my house is a mango tree. My house is white. Also there are lots of bats in the neighborhood.

Needless to say, I wish I had an Alfred.

Zahille7@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

I'm jealous of that mango tree though... Mango is my favorite fruit

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 1y

Batman arrives at the crime scene with drippings of wet grey guano running down the left side of his chest

Joker: ..... HAHAHAHA ... what's that Batman ... you're little friends show you a bit of love?

Batman mumbles: ..... hughhg? ... (looks down at his suit) ... ALFRED!!!!!!!

TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 12 pts · 1y (6 replies)

That probably means Batman smells like batshit, and everyone is too afraid to tell him.

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y (3 replies)

No, they're not!

🎶Jingle bells,

Batman smells..🎵

Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 1y

TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Sure, but has anyone sang that around him?

Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

Not within 6 feet. Not because of the danger, but you can't inhale any closer

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

The mask is actually a nasal cannula so that he can avoid the stench of guano on his suit, his cape, his car, his bike, his plane, his mansion.... everything.

TachyonTele@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

I think he's been around it for so long he doesn't even notice it

sir_pronoun@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Don't mention the parasites you get from bat poop (was it all a fever dream? The whole batman saga?)

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

BATMAN CAUSED COVID!

shig@misanthropolis.xyz · 4 pts · 1y

Bat wipes. They have many uses.

Slovene@feddit.nl · 0 pts · 1y (3 replies)

I bet lots of batcum on the keyboard too. And not from the animals.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

The Robins were all teenagers.

Slovene@feddit.nl · 2 pts · 1y (1 reply)

So Batman was a groomer?! Disgusting!

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

I mean...