Also, the Canadian army or something, but they didn't make this particular list.

194 points · 42 comments · view on lemmy.world

42 Comments

Corngood@lemmy.ml · 53 pts · 1y (14 replies)

compact, tactical France

Our France is 3x as big as the original and 99% ice. It also has stop signs that are incomprehensible to English speakers, so good luck figuring that out, invaders.

RedditWanderer@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Arrêt!

TobEnd@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y (4 replies)

What?

don@lemm.ee · 18 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Arrêt!

Sturgist@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 1y (2 replies)

They're foreign dummy, they won't understand until you repeat it several times at increasing volume.

anton@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

ARRÊT!

ARRÊT!

Sturgist@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 1y

Encore une fois! Avec... émotion!

jazz hands

neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Do you also have the "beware of ninjas"-sign they have along French highways?

EDIT:

If that's not a warning about sudden shurikens, then what else can it be?

SomethingBurger@jlai.lu · 12 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Don't forget the folding chair:

GraniteM@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 1y (2 replies)

I don't know if you have these, but I'm a big fan of "Tightly-Laced Corset Ahead"

dlhextall@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Stupid, sexy Flandersroad

YourNetworkIsHaunted@awful.systems · 1 pts · 1y

The road is actually in Belgium you don't know it's not.

CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 7 pts · 1y

When I was a little kid I always thought it was a car with legs, lol.

SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 1y

You need to make them legible so that the invaders know to stop

faercol@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 1y

Your stop signs are more French than the stop signs in France

DaddleDew@lemmy.world · 44 pts · 1y (2 replies)

They forgot to include Kinder Surprise eggs. Those are absolutely deadly to Americans.

KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de · 10 pts · 1y (1 reply)

This gives me a visual of a heavily armored troupe of soldiers, with AT and maybe even a tank, all in full equipment, laying on the ground, not moving; and each has a Kinder Surprise in their mouth, lodged tight.

DaddleDew@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

They're essentially used like light grenades

Rusty@lemmy.ca · 26 pts · 1y (2 replies)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_hippo for confused non-canadians

neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y

TIL...

Fucken lol

zaphod@sopuli.xyz · 7 pts · 1y
nuke@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 1y (5 replies)

How could you forget the degens from upcountry? We all heard what The Ginger and Boots did to that ostrich.

ramchak@lemmy.ca · 12 pts · 1y

Allegedly

NielsBohron@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y (1 reply)

And Canada Gooses! Canada Gooses are barrel-chested and majestic! The envy of all ornithologies!

nuke@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 1y

You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.

not_so_handsome_jack@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I heard it was a sick ostrich

neidu3@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 1y

Allegedly

brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Yesterday I learned that Keanu isn't USian but in fact Canadian. Today I wonder how he's not at the top of this list.

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

He annihilates 3/4 of the secret services, kills or at least mortally wounds most of Trump's stooges (including Musk and his human shield), then only gets caught after a 48 hour manhunt. Then the US is barely capable of keeping itself together, let alone to further protect his majesty, Donald I.

HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club · 8 pts · 1y (1 reply)

The PATH is a wild place.

theUwUhugger@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Lets not forget ab the large draftsble moose population!

GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y (3 replies)

Never, ever get into an argument with a moose.

Forget pumas, those fuckers are the real apex predator of The North. 😨

theUwUhugger@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

There are pumas in the north america?!???!?

GalacticGrapefruit@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y
kersploosh@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 1y

We call them cougars, or mountain lions, or catamounts, but it's all the same cat. Sometimes they nibble on mountain bikers.

https://www.nwpb.org/2018/05/20/cougar-attack-kills-and-injures-mountain-bikers-near-north-bend-washington/

Fizz@lemmy.nz · 7 pts · 1y

Underestimating the Mounties on a mountain is a huge strategic mistake.

NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y

I dunno.

I'm kinda scared of becoming the crack spiders bitch.

Alabaster_Mango@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1y

Are there no 12' skellingtons in the states? My town is filthy with them. I've never felt so safe as I do right now with all these gigantic bone daddies.

Justas@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

You forget the big cold.

ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Are there women in the Alberta Rat Patrol? If yes, is there one by the name "Jane Doe"?

TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y

what about the geese? can't forget the geese!

also I think Florida has Canadian geese year round, so Florida man would be immune