DHS Begins National Registry Of Duolingo Users

https://theonion.com/dhs-begins-national-registry-of-duolingo-users/

289 points · 18 comments · view on lemmy.world

18 Comments

supernight52@lemmy.world · 97 pts · 1y (7 replies)

Jesus, my heart dropped for a second because this legitimately seems like something this admin would/will do.

espentan@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Congratulations, we see you have learned French, so now you qualify for immediate and forceful relocation to Cameroon!

grue@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Well, shit. I was hoping for Tahiti.

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I heard it was a magical place…

supernight52@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

A place where the beer flows like wine, and the women flock like the wild salmon of Capistrano.

Wait. Nope, sorry- I'm thinking of Aspen, not Tahiti.

Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1y

More likely they would be telling white women learning other languages in preparation to emigrate elsewhere that they aren't allowed to leave the country as they are now property.

seahorse@midwest.social · 20 pts · 1y

Same friend, same. I ate it hard at first.

MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y

No wonder Duo got killed by a swatzicar…

bobs_monkey@lemm.ee · 45 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Ok I ate the onion lol

RejZoR@lemmy.ml · 13 pts · 1y

With current Murican administration, The Onion wipes out the line between fiction and reality.

Snowclone@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Stop with this kind of headline your making me panic about this shit more than it already is panic inducing!!!

samus12345@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 1y

Joking about this stuff just isn't funny anymore.

vk6flab@lemmy.radio · 20 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Our planet is in a sad state when a headline like this could actually be real and the author of it needs to be commended for making the observation in such an effective way.

PunkiBas@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

Shit, With this sad state of affairs I'd happily be surprised If it doesn't end up being one of those 'the onion was right" articles...

hansolo@lemm.ee · 12 pts · 1y

I'll see that green owl in Hell, I will!

cyrano@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 1y

Legit

lemmeegetupinthere@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I genuenly can't tell if this is real or not? If this is real this is some serious brainwashing.

NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io · 10 pts · 1y

Look at rhe community name.