David Attenborough: This Ticonderoga #2 pencil has seen better days. Watch as the student draws it from its pencil case for the current task at hand: a two-hour written exam.
The Final Scribble: The Life and Death of Petey the Pencil
[Scene opens on a stark, fluorescent-lit examination hall. Rows of anxious students bend over their desks, scribbling with quiet intensity. The sound of pencil lead scratching against paper fills the air.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
In the unforgiving environment of the university testing chamber, a silent struggle unfolds. Here, tools of intellect are pushed to their limits—not just the minds of students, but their humble, graphite-bearing companions.
[Camera pans to a close-up of a yellow No. 2 pencil. His paint is chipped, his eraser nearly gone. We meet our subject.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
This is Petey. Graphitus scribblum, affectionately named “Petey” by his human, an undergraduate in Anthropology 201.
[Cut to Petey being lifted shakily by a caffeine-twitching hand.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
For many semesters, Petey has lived a noble life: lecture notes, marginal doodles, perhaps the occasional crossword. But today… today he faces his final trial.
[The student begins writing furiously. Petey dances across the page in a flurry of facts, formulas, and half-remembered concepts about Neanderthal toolkits.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
Watch as he glides with precision—his graphite core converting thought into text at astonishing speeds. But each word comes at a cost.
[The camera slowly zooms in: Petey is visibly shorter now. The student presses harder as stress mounts.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
Each line drains him. Once a full-grown pencil, proud and unsharpened, Petey is now a shadow of his former self—barely three inches in length. And yet, he persists.
[Petey is lifted again. This time, his wood groans faintly. He scribbles half of a sentence. Then… a snap.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
Ah. Tragedy. A critical fracture at the midpoint. His brittle frame can bear no more. The graphite, worn thin, gives way under pressure.
[The student stares at the broken pencil in disbelief. A panicked shuffle for a backup ensues.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
And just like that, Petey’s journey comes to an end. Not with fanfare, nor a ceremonious farewell—but with a quiet crack, unheard by all but one.
[Cut to Petey resting beside a used coffee cup and a heavily dog-eared exam booklet. His tip dulled, his spirit spent.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.):
Yet, in his final moments, he gave all he had in service of knowledge. Few tools live with such dignity. Fewer still die in the act of creation.
46 Comments
Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 32 pts · 1y
THIS KILLS THE CRAB
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 1y
Yet feeds its killer, allowing it to survive for another day. Aren't zero-sum games fun?
Thcdenton@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
They certainly are tasty
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
True, until we become the tasted.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y
Still tasty
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
If we cannibal ourselves into a stew, are we just drinking bath water?
someguy3@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 1y
If they can make you have an emotional connection to a cube...
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 1y
VitabytesDev@feddit.nl · 8 pts · 1y
I am making a note here, huge success
Epp2@lemmynsfw.com · 2 pts · 1y
For the good of all of us
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 1y
That's how the cube gets you. Don't let it break you we can escape.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 1y
Idk why people attached to that cube.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y
You monster
Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 1y
I couldn't trust anyone that doesn't get sad about the cube.
sprittytinkles@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y
It is weighted, and it is my companion.
Ziglin@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I tried for multiple minutes to see if I could find a way around incinerating it.
SARGE@startrek.website · 18 pts · 1y
sundray@lemmus.org · 11 pts · 1y
Rules of Nature (docs)
sbv@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y
Gurei@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 1y
RIP Leon.
weker01@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 1y
No... The store bought lobster???
Edit: I was not prepared for this today... He brought us so much joy in the time of need and lockdown.
Gurei@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y
Unfortunately. My apologies for bringing the news upon you. Good what is worth, his other housemates thrive, both in and out of the tank.
P00ptart@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
I read this in Vernor herzogs voice.
BleakBluets@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y
Arctic Fox, It's a Setup!
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Nature documentary animals are unironically celebrities, in my opinion.
PunnyName@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
My Octopus Teacher
Melodrama/Documentary
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I don't know what this means, but I'd love to hear more.
nogooduser@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12888462/
toynbee@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
No love for pencils?
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
And that's just a pencil we've known for a second! Imagine following a seal pup for weeks before watching it die.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y
Imagine following the pencil for a whole school year, watching it get smaller and smaller as the arrow of time keeps marching forward evermore
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
David Attenborough: This Ticonderoga #2 pencil has seen better days. Watch as the student draws it from its pencil case for the current task at hand: a two-hour written exam.
FooBarrington@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
No, not Petey the Pencil :( he won't make a whole two hour exam!! Nooooo!!!
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y
The Final Scribble: The Life and Death of Petey the Pencil
[Scene opens on a stark, fluorescent-lit examination hall. Rows of anxious students bend over their desks, scribbling with quiet intensity. The sound of pencil lead scratching against paper fills the air.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): In the unforgiving environment of the university testing chamber, a silent struggle unfolds. Here, tools of intellect are pushed to their limits—not just the minds of students, but their humble, graphite-bearing companions.
[Camera pans to a close-up of a yellow No. 2 pencil. His paint is chipped, his eraser nearly gone. We meet our subject.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): This is Petey. Graphitus scribblum, affectionately named “Petey” by his human, an undergraduate in Anthropology 201.
[Cut to Petey being lifted shakily by a caffeine-twitching hand.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): For many semesters, Petey has lived a noble life: lecture notes, marginal doodles, perhaps the occasional crossword. But today… today he faces his final trial.
[The student begins writing furiously. Petey dances across the page in a flurry of facts, formulas, and half-remembered concepts about Neanderthal toolkits.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Watch as he glides with precision—his graphite core converting thought into text at astonishing speeds. But each word comes at a cost.
[The camera slowly zooms in: Petey is visibly shorter now. The student presses harder as stress mounts.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Each line drains him. Once a full-grown pencil, proud and unsharpened, Petey is now a shadow of his former self—barely three inches in length. And yet, he persists.
[Petey is lifted again. This time, his wood groans faintly. He scribbles half of a sentence. Then… a snap.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Ah. Tragedy. A critical fracture at the midpoint. His brittle frame can bear no more. The graphite, worn thin, gives way under pressure.
[The student stares at the broken pencil in disbelief. A panicked shuffle for a backup ensues.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): And just like that, Petey’s journey comes to an end. Not with fanfare, nor a ceremonious farewell—but with a quiet crack, unheard by all but one.
[Cut to Petey resting beside a used coffee cup and a heavily dog-eared exam booklet. His tip dulled, his spirit spent.]
DAVID ATTENBOROUGH (V.O.): Yet, in his final moments, he gave all he had in service of knowledge. Few tools live with such dignity. Fewer still die in the act of creation.
toynbee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
I don't want to.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y
Don't watch nature documentaries, then.
David Attenborough: "This is Snowball, a 4-week-old arctic hare"
[I pause the documentary]
Partner: "Babe, why'd you do that?"
Me: "Just getting some tissues."
Partner: "Why? Look at the cute bunny!"
[Unpause]
David Attenborough: "This is Throat-shredder. She is the leader of her pack of starving arctic wolves."
Partner: "Oh, no."
Me: "Tissue?"
[Grisly killing noises from the TV]
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y
Damn, that octopus doc where he was like, "this bitch going to die any day now." Why you make me love her?
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
Don't watch this, but imma put it here as supporting evidence:
https://youtu.be/qVJzQc9ELTE
Snoopy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1y
Thank for supporting the evidence, i'm gonna take a therapy now 😭
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I'd recommend at least two therapies. The flashbacks are no joke.
Snoopy@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1y
I will watch Flow movie tomorrow. It is made with blender and there is a cat.
Anyway, the video is a brutal truth about climate change.
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y
I'd recommend watching Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, the Swiss Family Robinson anime, or the Arthur cartoon.
Snoopy@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1y
Thank for the suggestion, i'm saveing your comment :)
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y
I am honored.
DearMoogle@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 1y
Oh no! I read the comments and that was enough:(
Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y
I would not be surprised if people have gone to therapy for less.
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 1y
Rip snipperino
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y